Why do we need to focus so much on self-care these days? I’ve just arrived home from my weekly yoga class. It always makes me feel calm and I truly need it to feel happy and healthy. But you know, I’m kind of puzzled, because my life is relatively low in stress.
Almost eight years ago, my husband and I consciously changed our lifestyle to reduce our stress levels, and live at a slower pace. So why is it that I still need tools like yoga, meditation, flower essences, supplements and essential oils to keep things on an even keel?
Am I unique? I guess not, because it feels like the whole world is talking about self-care.
What I feel is behind all this need for tender care and healing, is at least twofold. It’s to do with the complex and fast lives we now live, and it’s to do with what we’ve inherited from the previous generations. The idea that our stressed-out modern lives leave us feeling as though we need a cup of tea and a good lie down is easy to understand, but how about turning the spotlight onto the grief and trauma we’ve inherited.
Those of us now in our forties are the children of the Baby Boomers. My father was born in 1946, so he was among the first of this post-war generation. His parents were both involved in the war effort and my husband’s grandfather was killed in the war as a 23 year old, new father. Many of our grandparents grew up during in The Great Depression which left emotional scars on many people.
The grief and trauma handed down to our parents from their parents has ultimately had a strong, if unconscious effect on us. As babes in the womb and newborns, our nervous systems became attuned to our mothers and everything they were feeling. Just as they’d absorbed the energy frequencies of their mothers and so on, back through the generations.
Just think of yourself as a human-shaped sponge that soaked up plenty of unconscious feelings and states of being before you could even talk. And what happens with these feelings and ways of being, is that they become who we think we are, and our nervous systems develop with this programming firmly in place. No man is an island is a massive understatement! We’re more unconsciously connected and existing within a unified field of experience than what we could possibly know.
So, if it’s true that I grew up not only feeling my feelings, but also my parents’ and their parents’ feelings, no wonder I need help. This has been going on for aeons. For every generation of the human race that’s existed, there’s been fragments of feelings, fears, beliefs and memories passed down to their children and then their children’s children. We’re carrying many layers of experience in these energetic shells.
We’re also holding trauma in our bodies
And it doesn’t end there. Everything I’ve described so far has related to energetic signatures. What if we’ve also received trauma and fear in our physical DNA? It’s been proven in recent scientific studies with Holocaust survivors, that alterations to a person’s DNA occur as a result of traumatic experiences, and that this altered DNA is then handed down to each subsequent generation. Kind of makes you think about today’s war veterans, refugees and other victims of violence doesn’t it? What legacy are they unknowingly passing down to their offspring?
It also makes me think, it’s no wonder we’re all feeling stressed out and overwhelmed by life. What we’ve potentially accumulated in the way of emotional burdens is pretty mind blowing. And when it doesn’t show up as emotional tension, it seems to express through illness in the body.
So there you are. I grant you absolute permission, if you needed it, to prioritise the best of self-care for yourself. So book that massage, spend a day on a beach, sleep in and read your novel all afternoon. But also, if you’re carrying significant emotional pain. Please seek out some therapy in the form of counselling, energy healing or your chosen health professional.
I’m here for you. Read more here about my session work.
Much love to us all.