I’ve had quite a few of those breath-taking experiences we call variously; ‘aha’, light bulb and eureka moments. The feelings of celebration and release we all have when these realisations, solutions or insights hit are often powerful and exhilarating.
What comes later though can sometimes feel like a bit of an anti-climax.
You see, I’ve noticed that the aha moment doesn’t always lead to the kinds of immediate personal transformations and life changes I crave. In fact for me, these moments are often followed by the exact opposite of what I was hoping would occur.
You know how it is, you believe you’ve created a whole new mindset around; not shouting at the kids, breaking your habit of running late, reducing sugar in your diet or criticising your partner’s every move and then life throws every possible obstacle in your way to stop those changes coming to fruition: The kids play up worse than ever, you get lost on your way to an appointment, you buy and then eat the fundraiser chocolates sold at junior soccer and well, you know what happens with your partner, they drive you bonkers, on purpose.
The old one step forward, ten steps back routine.
It’s as though the internal shift has yet to filter through to our external world and in the meantime, any residual beliefs and patterns still hanging around in the ‘post-aha’ self take the opportunity to wreak havoc and mayhem for their last hurrah.
It’s as though the universe is saying, “Oh yeah? You want to change? Well then, let’s see how serious you are about this. Try this on for size….and this…. how about THAT! KAPOW!”.
It can end up feeling that since we aren’t succeeding at ‘walking the mind-talk’ of our new outlook, then we must be completely back to square one.
Let me reassure you though that this assumption is far from true. Just because a first, second, or fiftieth attempt at personal growth and evolution doesn’t stick, it doesn’t mean you haven’t made progress. It’s just that when we humans work to break habits created from decades of family patterning and centuries of cultural conditioning, the really worthwhile, soul-liberating shifts take time for us to fully embody.
It’s a bit like getting used to a really short hair-cut after wearing it long for years or getting back on a bicycle after a decade of not riding, feels weird, wrong, not us. Plus there’s always that super-helpful ego kick-back I wrote about a little while ago.
What I’m saying is, we’re all in the same boat with this so don’t worry, you’re not alone in your frustration, impatience and self-doubt.
In my humble opinion, tools like journalling, meditation, being in nature and seeing a skilled counsellor can all help us along our pathway but good old simple patience and surrender to a higher power are also pretty darned helpful.
Just take that next step, you’ll get there eventually. Promise.