Competition is neither the sole domain of the feminine nor the masculine.
We all possess the drive to compete and sometimes it serves us. An urge to be the best, the winner or at least in the running stimulates creativity, commitment, hard work and can bring out our best.
We all love watching others excel, particularly in the sporting arena.
What I’m talking about here is more subtle. I’m thinking of the insidious ways suppressed competitive impulses can erode friendships, workplace harmony and our own self-esteem.
It all begins when we draw comparisons between ourselves and others, thereby reducing our worth to a very narrow and often superficial checklist…
Little girls start comparing themselves to others at a very young age. At around six or seven they begin comparing their appearance, their skills and their possessions:
“She’s got prettier hair than me.”
“She’s better at drawing dogs than me.”
“She’s got nicer shoes than me.”
With my daughter it wasn’t like this though, it was more like:
“I’m better at climbing than her.”
“I was the best runner today.”
Which is better?
And why am I speaking of girls and not boys, because surely boys are competitive too?
It’s because the older we girls get, the more our feminine competitiveness goes underground and shifts into more subtle behaviours, whereas it seems that boys are given permission to compete openly.
This happens because girls are often judged harshly when they’re openly competitive. Have you ever heard a little boy being criticised for being too feisty or “full-throttle” on the playing field?
Anyone else have a daughter who’s been labelled ‘bossy’?
Our competitive urge gets subverted:
- We pump ourselves up or shrink ourselves down in the workplace depending on who’s listening and many women withdraw from the corporate climb all together rather than be seen as ambitious
- In social settings we cultivate the chameleon, acting (and dressing), confidently and assuredly with one crowd but passive and downplayed with another
- At the extreme, we undermine other womens’ confidence with sneaky comments or ‘jokes’ or manipulate how others are perceived by carefully launched verbal missiles dressed up as gossip.
It’s this subterranean style of competition that’s more difficult to tackle and it can stay with us throughout life if we don’t acknowledge its presence.
We’re entering a new era of the feminine rising to meet the masculine in a symbiotic union. The time is drawing nearer for us to welcome the end of the patriarchal rule that has well and truly run its course on our planet.
We’re at the top of the pendulum’s swing….it’s about to swing back.
So get ready and own your place in the coming change. We all hold some responsibility for this new landscape as it takes shape.
When we compare ourselves with someone else or feel the need to match their achievements we’re sitting in the energy of lack and competition.
We’re also denying our own truth.
We never win when we drag someone else or ourselves down a few notches.
So what’s the solution? Just sit in your divine perfection (it’s in your heart centre), learn how to love yourself fully and connect with your unique gifts and talents.
Then start living your life with this as your foundation. Simple!
To grab some help, contact me for a session – click here first.
Love to you, Tricia