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Tag: separation

No cord cutting required – It’s all in you

Posted in Trust The Universe

I hesitate to be definitive about anything these days. And if I’m honest, I have helped people to visualise the cutting of cords from various ex-partners and ex-friends from whom they wish to create an energetic separation. But you know, it feels like it’s time we moved on. And by moved on I mean, moved IN. But none of this is coming from what I ‘know’, it’s merely a reportage of what I’ve been experiencing in my work over the last couple of years.

Everything we need to know about why we’ve had the experiences we’ve had, why we’ve responded to certain people in particular ways and why we feel repelled by some people, is within us. The access points to integrate all that is fragmented and rejected in our lives are within us. I believe the best and most enduring type of healing does not involve further separating ourselves from the ‘other’ or from the parts of ourselves we don’t like. It’s about drawing it all in, acknowledging it fully and inviting whatever ‘it’ is, to stay or go. If there is a frequency mismatch, it will either lift its frequency or go. And if we approach this task with a pure and open heart, the frequency mismatch will be clear.

Here are some realities as I perceive them:

  • We’re bound to other people in ways we can’t control and for reasons we’re not meant to fully understand
  • We’re bound to bodies of energy – some call them entities – because at some time, maybe long, long ago, we allowed them to merge or bond with our etheric body
  • And still, perhaps paradoxically, we are sovereign beings. We have free will, the ultimate power to choose our experiences from deep within us

I feel it’s time for us to let go of the idea that in order to be free of the past, or of the sucking, draining or dragging energy of others, that we must cut cords, burn ties or create any other illusion of separation and rejection. One of the errors of this approach lies in the energy we then must devote to holding this person to account for their ill deeds, wrongdoing or deficiencies which led to us cutting them off in the first place. We must justify our position internally and for most of us, there lingers the nagging feeling that we’ve done something wrong. The other problem with this tactic is that it rarely works.

What we end up feeling is scattered, splintered and divided against ourselves. But most of all, exhausted, from the effort of running away from a person who despite the cord cutting, continues to trail behind us like a limp balloon tied to our wrist by a string. And what’s worse than the remnants of an old foe lingering on? It’s when into our lives we attract a similar new person to be our mirror since we pushed the last one away.

What I’m getting at here is that every ‘thing’ and person we reject or fear, is a symbol of an aspect of ourselves we’re not at peace with. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating that anyone put up with an abusive friend, partner or family member in the name of self-discovery and spiritual advancement. Not at all. We may choose who we spend our time with, that is our right.

Where we possibly go wrong is by demonising said person after the fact, and as a result, failing to grasp their unique humanity and wounding that lead them to this way of behaving. When we hold the perspective that we need to cut energetic ties in order to feel safe, we end up feeling both disempowered and disconnected from our divinity. We are in unity with ALL and once we can embrace the reality that we don’t get to choose only the ‘light’, we will rise into a new way of existence. It is possible for us to arrive at our own resolution and bring immense forgiveness and compassion to our story with the person concerned, even if they’re no longer in our lives, via a guided spiritual healing process.

That which clings to us which is of a lower vibrational resonance, can only do so via our own corresponding frequency. Once we welcome all that is fearsome, shadowy, dark, dense or indeed, ‘evil’ into our hearts to be fully acknowledged, it either transmutes into a higher vibration to unite with us in the forms of creative inspiration, wildish passion, or gifts of healing and psychic awareness or, it simply slides right off and dissolves before our eyes. The key here is to know when we’re ready to do the work.

When you choose a skilled practitioner to help you through this process, none of it will be confronted until you are ready. In the work that I do with people, these opportunities usually arise spontaneously because the guides perceive that the time is right and it all occurs quite rapidly and with little fuss. It’s a powerful paradox and one worth embracing. Welcome that which you most fear and see it turn into harmless dust.

Contact me for a session and we’ll talk it over a little more…Click here

Or, feel free to leave a pithy comment below.

Much love, Tricia

 

 

Is Ancient Shame Holding You Back?

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

Shame that’s hidden from view is still shame that holds us back.

Mainly from love – giving and receiving.

We’ve all done things we’re ashamed of right?

Cast your mind back to childhood and I’m sure you’ll find something – a lie, a theft, a blurted nasty comment, classroom cheating, betrayal of a friend….

Ringing any bells?

More than twenty years ago I betrayed the man I had made marriage vows with not much more than a year earlier.

I left him for someone else.

I knew then as I know now, it was for the best.

I still hated myself for the pain I caused. I wished it could have been different – sort of.

It was exactly what it was and maybe the only way it could have been after nine years of familiarity and habit.

It did it because I’d been thrown a lifeline and I wanted to live – gawd that sounds dramatic.  I wasn’t in any physical danger.  It was just that I felt like I was sinking.

It wasn’t his fault. We’d just created something that wasn’t very happy.  The dynamic was all wrong and I suddenly saw it for what it had become;  we were like brother and sister.

I wanted more and I felt trapped with what we were capable of.  I began to harden up, toughen my outlook.  I set my jaw and steeled my gaze.

I guess I thought I could manage it okay if I changed myself enough. I held my breath.

And then I saw him at the party.  My husband was outside chatting with someone.  I walked inside and there sitting with an empty chair beside him, was a person I’d always wondered about.

I sat down and before I knew it I’d said, “I still have feelings for you.”

“But you’re married”, he said.  “I was at your wedding”, he said.

“I know”.

We both leaned forward, heads in our hands and smiled silly, hopeless sort of smiles.

Weeks went by and I told myself that was that. Nothing could happen.

Coincidentally, he worked at the university where I was studying. We met up a few times in the campus grounds after my lectures. Sat on hard benches and talked as the sun went down.

I persisted that it was pointless as I wasn’t about to leave my marriage. I said, I couldn’t bear to go through that.

He gently said, “You wouldn’t be sitting here talking to me if you were happy.”

Then a few weeks later he flew to England for a planned six month stay.

Just before he left, my husband worked out something was up.

One week later I moved out.

Life went on. I kept studying and working, friends chose camps, my parents were very supportive, I never saw my in-laws again.

It wasn’t easy but I had this little voice inside that I’d ignored years earlier when I was confused about love.  It whispered; stay strong, keep going, this is temporary, you’re doing fine.

My new flame came home and we moved in together. Four years later we got married.  You know the rest….kids, jobs, studies, homes, holidays, change, challenges, a move to the country and suddenly we’re middle-aged.

Up until last week I thought I was over this part of my story.  I’d done the counselling, read the books, been healed by experts, become a healer myself, gotten it all straight in my mind and reached a level of peace about it.

The Australian Bush Flower Essence – wedding bush supports us in being committed to any aspect of life.

But in truth I’m still holding it against myself.  I’m still ashamed of what I did and only I can resolve that. And resolve it I will because what I’ve realised is that this shame is stopping me from having the quality and depth of love I want in my relationship with not only my husband but with all the important people in my life.

So how?  This is what I feel:

  • Put my hands on my heart and love myself a little more
  • Feel into my soul, trust in the wisdom I followed and know that it was my best choice at the time
  • Grow into stronger compassion for the 24 year-old me who was simply saving herself
  • Give thanks to the universe for giving me the courage to step forward onto that new path and risk losing everyone’s love in the process.

All these old fragmented, hidden parts of ourselves don’t really need to be released or healed….they need to be integrated into the wondrous, complex and multi-faceted beings that we are.

We don’t need to continually make ourselves wrong or flawed or broken.  We’re all the villain and the victim. We’re all innocent and all guilty.  We are all deserving of love no matter what.

Tricia

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