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Tag: life

Looking In The Mirror

Posted in Heal Relationships

I play this game with myself. It’s called: “If they’re annoying me, what do I need to look at in myself?”

One of the most useful pieces of spiritual guidance I’ve ever received has been, to put it bluntly…

It’s not them, it’s YOU.

In other words, how can I change my perspective to feel more relaxed about how others behave? And it’s really not about looking at others through a different lens, it’s about looking inward and making friends with the aspects of me that are illuminated when they do what they do.

You see, what I’ve discovered is that it’s those not-so-lovely bits of ourselves that we despise and bury down so deep we don’t even remember they’re there, that we end up reacting to when others display those same traits.

Now this isn’t about the shop-keeper whose grumpy manner makes you feel bad or the fellow road user who cuts in front of you and gives you a fright and makes you angry (although it could be).

This is more about those nearest and dearest to us.  You see, our close family and friends are members of our soul group going back into the distant past and ahead into our mysterious futures whom we’ve decided on a soul level to be with, in order to remember our wholeness and unity with ALL.

Sydney Rose essence assists us with feeling one with all.
Sydney Rose essence assists us with feeling one with all.

Here’s an example: I’ve had a life-long issue with people who in my assessment, over-react to life happenings.  Strong outward displays of horror, fear, pain, shock, disapproval and even excitement and glee get me all worked up inside and make me want to tell the person to stop it.   Funnily enough, (don’t worry family, I won’t name names) I’ve lived a life surrounded by people naturally inclined to be exuberant, expressive and yes, reactive.

But what I’m slowly realising is that hey, aren’t we all? Aren’t these traits all just a part of being a normal person?  I decided at a young age to be more self-contained than “out-there” with my responses to the world.  Although, don’t imagine this made for a totally sooth existence for me and my family.  Holding all my reactions and feelings inside lead to them building up into volcano-like tantrums that were not pretty at all.

My outlets for self-expression as I grew older became writing, drawing, dancing and singing. Oh, and lots and lots of talking with my friends. That worked out pretty well and I guess I turned out fine.

Still, those feelings of irritation and annoyance persist.  There’s clearly more I need to look at within and make friends with.  Just lately I’ve been noticing when others are being rigid in their viewpoint and from my perspective, blocking their own happiness and freedom.  I guess I do this too.  I must, or it wouldn’t bother me that they do it.

It’s all okay though because this is what life’s about.  What I’m enjoying now is having the insight to stand back and observe my reactions and feelings and accept them for what they are.  This helps me to allow everyone else to be on their path too.  Nobody is wrong or less enlightened than anyone else.

So remember, it’s not them, it’s you and we’re all equally lovable, cute and funny <3

 

Helpers Need Help Too

Posted in Live From Intuition, and Trust The Universe

I’ve been playing with a couple of themes this past week.  One is the concept of ‘enough’ or perhaps more accurately, ‘good enough’.  Anyone else out there have perfectionist tendencies?

The other one is the idea that we have supporters (seen and unseen) in our lives and that how we handle the flow of giving and receiving determines whether or not we make good use of that support. Give too much and receive too little and it’s out of balance for us all.  We mothers are especially good at this, giving till we’re ready to expire (or explode) and not feeling able to ask for help.

IMG_5775

Before I go any further, I’d like to credit MaryCay Durant from Your Success Signature Business with alerting me to these concepts on a coaching call three weeks ago. The slow filtration process began then and is now emerging as real change in my life only now. Actually, this isn’t too bad if you ask me, I’ve frequently had transforming information resonate with me on the first hearing and then it’s taken me, oh, around ten years to finally implement it in my life.

So what’s this all about?

It’s about wanting to play a bigger game in my life and finding myself bumping up against demands that didn’t even feel like demands a mere four weeks ago.  They were just stuff I did and I had plenty of time for.

You see I’ve gotten clearer about what my work is, who I’m serving and how I promote who I am and what I do.  I’ve become busier with client appointments, I’ve written a business plan (thank you dear hubby for the firm nudge to do this), and for the umpteenth time, began a new edit on my book manuscript. Not to mention big tweaks to this website and the creation of my first printed promotional materials in eighteen months!

So, all that’s happened is life’s gotten a little busier and I’ve needed to reset priorities, plan my time a little more carefully and embrace these two concepts;

  • Decide anew what’s ‘good enough’ in terms of making time for housework, family, creativity, meditation, friends, exercise and work so I end up feeling in balance at the end of the day.
  • Realise I have support among my family, friends and my spirit guides and angels that I only need call upon to ease my workload and assist me with allowing it to feel easy and light again.

These periods of tension amid change can provoke feelings of fear, panic, blockage, retreat, overwhelm and an urge to throw in the towel.  I’ve felt all this and spent a couple of weeks wrestling with the attendant resentment that I projected onto the dearest people in my life, my precious husband and children whose very existence buoys me, urges me to be my highest expression and without whom I wouldn’t even be on my current path (sigh and chastened smile).

Haaah.  It’s quite difficult sometimes isn’t it, this ‘life’ thing?

So, I’m writing this post at 8.45 in the evening (I used to do it in the day), while my children settle off to sleep and hubby switches the television off to go and read his book.  No big deal, I enjoy this creative outlet and pretty soon I’ll be off to bed too.

I’ve found a new energy for doing all that I do by asking for some help from my family, acknowledging how I can drop some time wasting activities or at least reduce them (think email and facebook), and I’m giving myself a huuuge break around what is possible and ENOUGH.

I’m letting it flow, allowing my inner guidance to take the driver’s seat, knowing it’s time to let go of some rigid ideals around who I am as a wife, mother, woman and person in favour of being the humble, quiet, holy me who knows how awesomely powerful she really is and is ready to shine a little bit shinier.

Onwards men and women, to the peak!

Be Gone Old Labels! I Don’t Need You Anymore

Posted in Live From Intuition, and Self-Care and Self-Healing

Just in case you haven’t felt it yet, this is certainly a week for clearing out the old, tackling that household task you’ve been avoiding and taking in a gigantic lung-full of clean fresh air.  Breathe iiiinn and then let it all ooouut.

Early evening at the bay
Early evening at the bay

We have a full moon tomorrow and the solstice is barely a week later.  Whether your solstice is happening in winter, summer or tropical dry season (depending on your location on the globe), this time of our year represents the end of a cycle.  Here in Australia we’re reaching the shortest day of the year and come the 23rd June, our days will start getting longer again as we cycle back towards spring and summer.  Sure, winter’s only just begun so we have plenty of cold and wet days to still get through but if you’re a sun-lover like me, it always lifts my spirits when I know we’re beyond that shortest day.

What this week has been feeling like for me is a re-calibration and a chance to clear the decks for the second half of 2014.  I’ve had a quiet working week and some time to do some work on my book manuscript (joy!).  Today I’m having my first massage in many many months and I’m planning to make it a’ two yoga class’ week.  I’ll tackle some housework tomorrow.  Sounds good to me 🙂

The other side of this week has been really noticing the aspects of me that I’m ready to release another layer of.  I’m ready to let go of some old labels that no longer fit.

Perhaps giving away our unwanted clothing can be a metaphor for this idea?  When we trawl through our wardrobes casting off items we no longer wear, we can call upon our inner wisdom to share any old concepts, beliefs or identities we are now ready to release and replace with first some space, and then with whatever feels like love, lightness and divinity.

My three old labels up for replacement this solstice are: shy, anxious and people-pleaser.

What are yours?  Take a moment now and ask into your heart. Maybe use these words;

“Heart, if there were three labels about me that I’m now ready to release, what would they be?”

Then, perhaps we could also ask for three new words that we might use to replace the old ones.

My heart says mine are; bold, brave and focused.

Listen within and you’ll hear yours too.

Take some extra time for you this weekend. Celebrate the coming of the solstice as the end of a cycle in your life and set some fresh intentions for the remainder of the year by writing them down.

Be you, that’s all there is to do. <3

 

Antidote For a Busy Mind – ‘Macro Presence’

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing, and Trust The Universe

IMG_5567I know, I know, you’ve heard it all before, from me and countless others…the powerful effect being present (awake, aware, mindful), has in bringing peace, enlightenment and even bliss into our lives.

It’s hard though isn’t it?  I’ve been a daily meditator and advocate for mindfulness for years now and yet, and yet… I still often find myself moving mindlessly through my life; dwelling in thoughts, hopes, worries, plans for the future and pre-rehearsed conversations (anyone else do this?), rather than being precisely where I am, doing what I’m doing in that very moment.

A wonderful mantra coined by spiritual teacher, Ram Dass that we can recite when we commence meditating is “Be here now“.

Perhaps we could use this in daily life.  When we notice we are distracted, not taking in our surroundings, not really listening to the dear family member right in front of us, whom we profess to love, we could say to ourselves, BE HERE NOW.

Write it bold on a piece of paper and stick it to the fridge.

Be   Here   Now

Taking a chilly winter swim in a wavy, weedy sea at my favourite beach the other day, I found myself feeling less than thrilled at being in a place I usually revel in.  I’d parked my towel, umbrella, shoes and clothes under a stout melaleuca tree on some dry sand. As I dried myself off and enjoyed feeling the sun’s rays for a couple of brief intervals when it broke through the rain clouds, I suddenly found myself looking more closely at this little tree.  I actually SAW it properly for the first time, I communicated with it, said hello and thanked it for sheltering me and my stuff.  As soon as I did this I noticed the whole tree quiver, grow more vivid in my vision. I felt it acknowledge me in return.

Melaeuca foliage - image courtesy: www.bie.ala.org.au
Melaeuca foliage – image courtesy: www.bie.ala.org.au

I know, sounds kooky, but this experience felt profound and was a wonderful jolt back into presence, connection with the place I was in and the nature surrounding me.  I left the beach with an uplifted heart and a fresh appreciation for our beautiful planet and all her miraculous beings.

Just as in macro photography where we see super-close-ups of tree bark, a leaf or a water droplet on a petal, we can bring this view of the world into our daily lives to enhance our mindfulness and ability to be present.

Simply look more closely:

  • Look at your finger tips as you hold a pen
  • Look into a child’s eyes when they are speaking to you
  • Notice the miracle of water flowing from a tap
  • Pause to enjoy the sun streaming through a window in the morning

Is that a good start? I’m sure you can think of a million more.  Super-heightened awareness is within our grasp in every moment. We need simply to choose it.  It really does feel good to be here now <3

 

When A Dream Comes True, You Are Still You

Posted in Live From Intuition, Live Your Passions, and Self-Care and Self-Healing

I’m not much of a rebel.  In fact, I’m a pretty committed rule-follower and goody two-shoes.

Growing up in a world where I interpreted that approval came from what I did, not simply who I was, I fitted right in.  I did well at school, played sport, ran races, learned the flute, danced my heart out and made friends easily.

I rarely rocked the boat, broke a rule or even so much as dreamed of rebelling.  I played it safe and was a ‘good girl’ ’cause that’s what I thought brought me the love and security I craved.

And yeah, I was happy enough.  I certainly think I looked happy from the outside.  Busy can look happy because we are distracted from those inner whisperings that question whether we are truly serving our soul’s purpose.  Although I guess that’s what being young is all about:  Trying this, trying that, being active, working different jobs, studying, dropping out, changing track, starting and ending romances, getting married, getting divorced….Oh, well maybe that last bit’s not for everyone.

That’s just what I did.

Married at 23
Married at 23

Finding myself a newly separated woman shortly after our first anniversary was a bit of a shock.  My slightly more rebellious younger brother’s response was a classic: “Yay! Tricia’s finally done something naughty.” That made me laugh – a little anyway.

Yep, I’d walked out of a 15 month-old marriage and was not going back.  Goodbye good Tricia. Well, not really, I was still living the illusion that I could make my life work by keeping my head down and playing life safe.  Any minor transgressions along the way were simply not me, couldn’t possibly be me.

So although I felt guilty as anything over the marriage breakdown and very sad too, I didn’t really know how to take responsibility for my actions and move forward without hating myself.  My moral compass was fluttering in all directions and it took me a year or two to regain some semblance of inner stability.

What really bugged my super-focused, efficiency-oriented mind was the time I had now wasted.  I was in my mid-twenties, doing a job not remotely connected to the seemingly useless Bachelor of Arts I had completed, I was divorced, had no assets, no savings, a new boyfriend in the same situation as me and was spending yet more time and potentially wasting more money (only thanks to Mum and Dad), on another university degree to what end?

In my grandly delusional dreams I was going  to be happily married, financially secure and at home with my first child by 25.  What on earth happened?

Anyway, it all actually worked out okay. That penniless boyfriend and I moved in together that same year, I finished my psychology degree and post grad. diploma and started a new career, we got married and finally in my early thirties I got the ‘happily married with financial security and two children’ dream.  And that’s when I began to finally work out how to be happy.

Motherhood, at last.
Motherhood, at last.

When we get everything we thought we needed to be happy and realise we still aren’t, that’s when real personal growth happens.  I’m in a similar situation again right now.  I have the life I dreamed of when my children were babies and guess what, I still need to learn that it’s not enough when I don’t love myself fully and value each present moment for what it offers.

So to finish this long story, I just want to say at a slightly wiser 43, dream your dreams, make them happen AND remember to spend time learning to love yourself just as you are right now and love just where you are right now.  It makes the ride much smoother. That’s all.  <3

 

Work Can Feel Like Play

Posted in Create Abundance, and Live Your Passions

I’ve been wrestling with issues around relationship and work this week.  I’m finding new ways to BE in both of these life arenas.

How so? I hear you ask.

Well, it’s all about linking intellectual understanding with feeling and doing.  Oh yeah and deserving.

Do I deserve to be free, relaxed, prosperous and happy?  Yes, of course I do and so do you.  Am I living as though all this were true right now in this very moment? Well, sort of, kinda, not exactly.

I believe we can create lives of joy and success by doing what we love.  I really do, it’s just that, there’s this little voice inside my head (my ego I guess), that plays this ancient recording passed down from my ancestors and culture that says:

“Work is hard, work is a burden, work drains you, work is responsibility, work is a drag, work is denying your truth and being someone you’re not…”

Even with all the “work” I’ve done on overcoming these old patterns, this remnant of the past keeps holding me back.  I don’t know why, all I know is it’s there and it sucks.

I know people say it can help to use different language:  “Hey, don’t call it work, call it something else; play, offerings, services, pathway, vocation…”.  Whatever, I still reckon my brain knows what is meant and offers up the same party-pooping propaganda.

Thankfully though, I do know that work can be like play, cause I’ve felt it.  I feel it each time I am blessed to see a client and help them with my intuitive skills, deliver a channeled meditation to my meditation circle ladies, write these articles and play around with my book manuscript or workshop curriculum. I guess I want more of these experiences and a healthy income to go with them.

Meelup beach from a high vantage point
Meelup beach from a high vantage point

My husband and I sat down together at my PC last week and watched a great film by Wayne Dyer called The Shift.  It stars Wayne as himself and blends his message that the search for greater meaning in life is a natural and helpful urge, with the fictional stories of a handful of characters going through their own life crises, some of whom interact with Wayne in the film.

“When you trust in yourself, you trust in the very wisdom that created you” Wayne Dyer – The Shift

The big message I received was that my husband and I are certainly on our right path.  Having heeded the urging of our souls to quit city life and live a simpler, healthier and quieter life here in Dunsborough, we have slowed down and gifted ourselves the time to pursue our dreams.

“If you can stop interfering in your own life and just be done, everything will be done for you.” Wayne Dyer – The Shift

I guess only having been in this new life for two years though, we are still in a transition phase.  Totally re-hashing our working lives and creating a new balance of earning between the two of us has not magically happened overnight or any where near as quickly as I hoped it would.

I’m still learning to trust and to allow life to unfold for my highest good without letting the crutch of old beliefs, limitations and fairy tales of old, scare me back into more familiar territory. 

“The best way to have those doors open is to forget about yourself and serve; it’s always about service. You can’t attract what you want into your life; you attract what you are.” Wayne Dyer – The Shift

Nice one Dr Dyer. Thanks for the reminder.

Taking My Own Advice

Posted in Live Your Passions, and Self-Care and Self-Healing

Quite a few years ago I realised there is a small collection of activities I love doing that help me to feel balanced, calm and healthy.  I’ve known for ages that doing a little of most of these things, most days, makes my life flow with ease, joy and productivity.

They are yoga, walking, singing, dancing, meditation and writing.

Walking on the beach is a favourite past-time
Walking on the beach is a favourite past-time

Notice how none of these things need cost a cent?

Why is it then that so far, I have only managed to achieve very patchy success with incorporating these rituals into my routine? Yep, it’s only been in the past couple of weeks that I have made a fresh commitment to making these activities a part of my daily life and I have actually been doing it.

The irony of hearing myself making suggestions to this effect to the people I see every week in my counselling practice has not been lost on me. After all, one of my life mantras is, we teach what we most need to learn.

My feeling is that self-sabotage might be playing a role here.

I recognised a couple of years ago that I have been carrying a mild fear of success through my adult life.  With a history of being sensitive to disapproval, rejection and exclusion, I’ve been playing it small for the past twenty years or so. I have a feeling that fear of success may be just as prominent in many people’s lives as the fear of failure.  Put them both together and you have the perfect recipe for stunted development and self-sabotaging behaviours.

How does this relate to us committing to daily habits and activities that nurture and support our well-being? Well, just think about it, if we are feeling emotionally balanced, physically strong, calm, energised and joyful then we have no excuse for not fully expressing ourselves in the world.

No excuse at all!

But hey, this is just a normal part of our development.  Recognising how we self-sabotage is a really great start.

What is needed is a big injection of self-love and gentle nurturing. Simple practices like this gem from Louise Hay can work miracles:When you first get out of bed in the morning, go to a mirror and look yourself in the face and say, I love you  -(your name) – three or four times.  If this feels silly or false do not fear.  Do it anyway and remember that the old advice, “fake it till you make it” works wonderfully for things like this.

Come to think of it, I also love, drawing, painting, baking and swimming. So many choices, so little time.

Do what makes you happy every day!

 

A Moon Of Change

Posted in Uncategorized

There was a brief lightening and brightening in the cosmic energies this week. Did you feel it? Phew, I did and I enjoyed breathing out fully for the first time in months.

We are now under the influence of gathering full moon energy (with a lunar eclipse too) which can be very energising and creative but can also contribute to us feeling weighed down, tense and more intense about everything in our lives.

Full moon at Windjana Gorge in the Kimberley
Full moon at Windjana Gorge in the Kimberley

I’ve birthed some changes in my life in the past couple of weeks.  I’ve commenced my women’s meditation and sharing circle in Dunsborough.  We’ve met twice. Next week I’m adding a new session on a different day.

I’m loving the creative process involved in facilitating these gatherings and have so enjoyed meeting some new women in my community.

I’ve also changed my business name to Tricia Woods Soul Purpose Counselling.  This name change has been a long time coming and it felt at times as though the final decision and the commitment to a new image would never come.

The whole process was an amazing lesson in trust in the universal flow of life.

If you would like to connect with me a little more regularly in facebook, then please to go to my business page and ‘like’ it.  My aim with this page is to post three or four inspirational messages each week and occasional news about what I am up to.

Along with these changes has come wonderful new clients and a more pacey feel to my usually quiet life. And although I’m enjoying doing more work and having such a fulfilling collection of creative outlets, I have to admit, a little bit of stress and resentment has crept in around keeping up with the household tasks.

Here is a beautiful quote that helps me when those feelings of annoyance over the washing, cleaning and cooking threaten to derail my peaceful outlook.  It’s from a wonderful book called Mindfulness Meditation for Everyday Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn and it helps me remember that even the mundane can be sacred.

“…master the twenty four hours. Do it well, without self-pity.  It is as hard to get the children herded into the car pool and down the road to the bus as it is to chant sutras in the Buddha-hall on a cold morning.  One move is not better than the other, each can be quite boring, and they both have the virtuous quality of repetition. Repetition and their good results come in many forms.  Changing the filter, wiping noses, going to meetings, picking up around the house, washing dishes, checking the dipstick – don’t let yourself think these are distracting you from your more serious pursuits.  Such a round of chores is not a set of difficulties we hope to escape from so that we may do our “practice” which will put us on a “path” – it is our path.” (G. Snyder, 2004)

Capitalise on the power of the extra special full moon (called a ‘super’ moon, as it is as its closest point to Earth), this weekend by reflecting on what is not serving you in your life right now and making fresh contracts with yourself for positive change.
The more brutally honest with yourself you are, the more fruitful this time will be.
Enjoy the ride and make sure you step outside and look at that beautiful orb in the sky.
Blessings to all.