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Tag: feminine power

Can I come out of my box now?

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

I just realised how thoroughly I’ve boxed myself in. I’ve been diligently constructing the box I like to call my identity or perhaps, my personality, my whole life. I thought I liked the box and I guess I thought it was essentially ‘me’. It wasn’t until the other day that I even had the understanding that the box is separate from the actual, real Tricia.

So how do we define or even recognise this box? Our personality is really only our ‘outer self’ or what we might think of as our socially acceptable self.  We only need dig down a little into our inner, darker recesses to observe that many parts of us, including our beliefs, preferences, ideals, habits and prejudices form only the thinnest, most flimsy layer of who we really are. And while this may initially sound shocking and feel very destabilising, when we can get past our attachment to these parts of ourselves, it can be very liberating.

But oh how we cling.

Of course it’s not easy to let go of what we believe is true about ourselves, the world and our place in it. I identify very strongly with many aspects of my outer self, not the least of which is my body and how I feel in it. This is where the experience of being in an earth-bound human body is very instructive. I’m talking about the aging process and what it can do to our sense of self and our ideas of who we think we are over a lifetime. I might cling to the idea that I look a certain way perhaps until my latish fifties, but then, maybe come sixty, the changes wrought will be undeniable and if I’m to enjoy my life and carry on despite ‘looking old’, I must release this care and focus on other things. Goodbye body image box.

One of the other boxes I can now acknowledge and I want to shed is my habit of denying myself pleasure. I’m really good at this. I reckon I’m a bit of an expert…how do I know? Well it’s because I recently began finding ways to bring more pleasure into everyday moments and it made me pause and reflect. I was astonished at how vigilant I’ve been with keeping myself from pleasure.  

It kinda goes with the territory when you’re a Virgo though. We are known for our puritanical tendencies….And it’s not like it’s all bad. There’s a sick type of pleasure to be gained from denying, holding back, going without and then….all of a sudden, yes! I’m going to have a piece of chocolate. What a high!  But seriously, I’m sure my body is grateful for the many years of deprivation I’ve subjected it to. No really. I’ve never been overweight and have had only one hangover. EVER! I know, total square.

The other way self-denial can be a positive is having the discipline to endure long periods of toil in order to accomplish a goal. It probably contributed to my completion of two degrees and a post grad diploma before I turned 28. But….and this is a big but because, to be honest, having two degrees didn’t really equate with happiness and fulfillment for me …. There’s this. From whence we experience pleasure is from whence our creativity springs and from creative expression comes great pleasure. It’s the circle of life. Without creative expression of some kind, we’re kind of stunted in our capacity to enjoy life.

This is sacral chakra energy. Our sacral chakra is the energy centre for our reproductive urges, sexual and sensual enjoyment, feminine power, creative inspiration and integrated emotional expression. So doesn’t it make sense then, that to be creatively engaged with life and to allow pleasure to seep into every moment possible, we will have healthy energy in the sacral? And as women, we really want to be super-engaged with our sacral chakra because it’s the seat of our capacity to nurture ourselves and others, feel our feelings and be stable in our sense of self. Just think about the archetypal womanly figure, rounded hips and soft stomach creating a safe and welcoming vessel for a baby to form and grow. She is stable and strong in her sacral and the powers that dwell there are revered by all, especially herself.

The sacral chakra is all about receptivity.  Can we receive more?  Does it feel safe to open up and be the receiver of life’s abundant pleasures and gifts? Goodbye pleasure-denial box.

The way to nurture our sacral is simply to nurture ourselves. Make life fun, comfortable, sexy, pleasurable, soft, open-hearted and even a little bit naughty whenever you can. Turn music on when you cook and clean, eat some chocolate in the morning, take a bath in the afternoon and always say yes to spontaneous invitations that sound good.  Enjoy your five senses and be open to what life has to offer. For me pleasure is more time outdoors, more music, yoga, dancing and meditation. More time having fun with the people I love.

Pleasure, creativity and feminine wisdom are inextricably linked.  Enjoy. Create. Feel. Know yourself.

The Feminine Is Rising – Can we drop the need to compete?

Posted in Heal Relationships, and Live Your Passions

Competition is neither the sole domain of the feminine nor the masculine.

We all possess the drive to compete and sometimes it serves us.  An urge to be the best, the winner or at least in the running stimulates creativity, commitment, hard work and can bring out our best.

We all love watching others excel, particularly in the sporting arena.

What I’m talking about here is more subtle.  I’m thinking of the insidious ways suppressed competitive impulses can erode friendships, workplace harmony and our own self-esteem.

It all begins when we draw comparisons between ourselves and others, thereby reducing our worth to a very narrow and often superficial checklist…

Little girls start comparing themselves to others at a very young age. At around six or seven they begin comparing their appearance, their skills and their possessions:

“She’s got prettier hair than me.”

“She’s better at drawing dogs than me.”

“She’s got nicer shoes than me.”

With my daughter it wasn’t like this though, it was more like:

“I’m better at climbing than her.”

“I was the best runner today.”

“I’m good at drawing.”

Which is better?

And why am I speaking of girls and not boys, because surely boys are competitive too?

It’s because the older we girls get, the more our feminine competitiveness goes underground and shifts into more subtle behaviours, whereas it seems that boys are given permission to compete openly.

This happens because girls are often judged harshly when they’re openly competitive. Have you ever heard a little boy being criticised for being too feisty or “full-throttle” on the playing field?

Anyone else have a daughter who’s been labelled ‘bossy’?

Our competitive urge gets subverted:

  • We pump ourselves up or shrink ourselves down in the workplace depending on who’s listening and many women withdraw from the corporate climb all together rather than be seen as ambitious
  • In social settings we cultivate the chameleon, acting (and dressing), confidently and assuredly with one crowd but passive and downplayed with another
  • At the extreme, we undermine other womens’ confidence with sneaky comments or ‘jokes’ or manipulate how others are perceived by carefully launched verbal missiles dressed up as gossip.

It’s this subterranean style of competition that’s more difficult to tackle and it can stay with us throughout life if we don’t acknowledge its presence.

We’re entering a new era of the feminine rising to meet the masculine in a symbiotic union.  The time is drawing nearer for us to welcome the end of the patriarchal rule that has well and truly run its course on our planet.

We’re at the top of the pendulum’s swing….it’s about to swing back.

So get ready and own your place in the coming change.  We all hold some responsibility for this new landscape as it takes shape.

When we compare ourselves with someone else or feel the need to match their achievements we’re sitting in the energy of lack and competition.

We’re also denying our own truth.

We never win when we drag someone else or ourselves down a few notches.

So what’s the solution? Just sit in your divine perfection (it’s in your heart centre), learn how to love yourself fully and connect with your unique gifts and talents.

Then start living your life with this as your foundation.  Simple!

To grab some help, contact me for a session – click here first.

Love to you, Tricia