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Tag: emotions

Can I come out of my box now?

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

I just realised how thoroughly I’ve boxed myself in. I’ve been diligently constructing the box I like to call my identity or perhaps, my personality, my whole life. I thought I liked the box and I guess I thought it was essentially ‘me’. It wasn’t until the other day that I even had the understanding that the box is separate from the actual, real Tricia.

So how do we define or even recognise this box? Our personality is really only our ‘outer self’ or what we might think of as our socially acceptable self.  We only need dig down a little into our inner, darker recesses to observe that many parts of us, including our beliefs, preferences, ideals, habits and prejudices form only the thinnest, most flimsy layer of who we really are. And while this may initially sound shocking and feel very destabilising, when we can get past our attachment to these parts of ourselves, it can be very liberating.

But oh how we cling.

Of course it’s not easy to let go of what we believe is true about ourselves, the world and our place in it. I identify very strongly with many aspects of my outer self, not the least of which is my body and how I feel in it. This is where the experience of being in an earth-bound human body is very instructive. I’m talking about the aging process and what it can do to our sense of self and our ideas of who we think we are over a lifetime. I might cling to the idea that I look a certain way perhaps until my latish fifties, but then, maybe come sixty, the changes wrought will be undeniable and if I’m to enjoy my life and carry on despite ‘looking old’, I must release this care and focus on other things. Goodbye body image box.

One of the other boxes I can now acknowledge and I want to shed is my habit of denying myself pleasure. I’m really good at this. I reckon I’m a bit of an expert…how do I know? Well it’s because I recently began finding ways to bring more pleasure into everyday moments and it made me pause and reflect. I was astonished at how vigilant I’ve been with keeping myself from pleasure.  

It kinda goes with the territory when you’re a Virgo though. We are known for our puritanical tendencies….And it’s not like it’s all bad. There’s a sick type of pleasure to be gained from denying, holding back, going without and then….all of a sudden, yes! I’m going to have a piece of chocolate. What a high!  But seriously, I’m sure my body is grateful for the many years of deprivation I’ve subjected it to. No really. I’ve never been overweight and have had only one hangover. EVER! I know, total square.

The other way self-denial can be a positive is having the discipline to endure long periods of toil in order to accomplish a goal. It probably contributed to my completion of two degrees and a post grad diploma before I turned 28. But….and this is a big but because, to be honest, having two degrees didn’t really equate with happiness and fulfillment for me …. There’s this. From whence we experience pleasure is from whence our creativity springs and from creative expression comes great pleasure. It’s the circle of life. Without creative expression of some kind, we’re kind of stunted in our capacity to enjoy life.

This is sacral chakra energy. Our sacral chakra is the energy centre for our reproductive urges, sexual and sensual enjoyment, feminine power, creative inspiration and integrated emotional expression. So doesn’t it make sense then, that to be creatively engaged with life and to allow pleasure to seep into every moment possible, we will have healthy energy in the sacral? And as women, we really want to be super-engaged with our sacral chakra because it’s the seat of our capacity to nurture ourselves and others, feel our feelings and be stable in our sense of self. Just think about the archetypal womanly figure, rounded hips and soft stomach creating a safe and welcoming vessel for a baby to form and grow. She is stable and strong in her sacral and the powers that dwell there are revered by all, especially herself.

The sacral chakra is all about receptivity.  Can we receive more?  Does it feel safe to open up and be the receiver of life’s abundant pleasures and gifts? Goodbye pleasure-denial box.

The way to nurture our sacral is simply to nurture ourselves. Make life fun, comfortable, sexy, pleasurable, soft, open-hearted and even a little bit naughty whenever you can. Turn music on when you cook and clean, eat some chocolate in the morning, take a bath in the afternoon and always say yes to spontaneous invitations that sound good.  Enjoy your five senses and be open to what life has to offer. For me pleasure is more time outdoors, more music, yoga, dancing and meditation. More time having fun with the people I love.

Pleasure, creativity and feminine wisdom are inextricably linked.  Enjoy. Create. Feel. Know yourself.

Think You’ve Moved On? Look Out!

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing, and Trust The Universe

As we move ever-closer to the Winter Solstice here in Australia, I’m feeling a little stressed, taxed, overwhelmed and fed-up.

Need I elucidate?

It’s no accident I felt called to book myself a massage last week and I’m looking forward to releasing some tension under the caring and capable hands of lovely Tara in her home studio in Yallingup tomorrow.

Experiencing the uplifting and heart-opening energies of Panache Desai on Masterworks Healing – 13/13 Prayer Circle last night, I thought I had released bucket-loads of tension and muck from the past.

Even the rockiest of paths are still worth travelling
Even the rockiest of paths are still worth travelling

Oh no no no. How naive of me.

Sure it was powerful and definitely worth tuning in.  But instant and complete healing it was not.

It was something much more worthwhile.  What this prayer circle did for me and the thousands of others joining in was to create an opening for all our suppressed sadness, anger and angst to flow upwards and out of our beings and today it showed up in pretty uncomfortable waves of all of the above for me.

I still got on with my day, did some washing, sorted out my daughter’s birthday presents, baked some muffins, went to my daughter’s class and helped teach six eight year-olds how to sew, had a quick chat on the phone with a dear friend and made my first ever chicken noodle soup for dinner.

However, my husband copped some cutting words and my arches are slightly sore from stomping around the house all morning.

Ah well, I’m feeling a little better now and looking forward to an early night tonight.  Sleep heals me so completely. I can sometimes go to bed feeling terrible and wake up feeling great.  I’m so grateful that a solid eight hour sleep is the norm for me now that my kids are bigger.

The point of this blog is that with the solstice this coming Friday the 21st, we are approaching a peak moment for the completion of cycles.  But if you think you can just set some intentions, say a prayer or write down some patterns you wish to release and it will all happen out there somewhere in the ether, then think again.

As Madisyn Taylor wrote so aptly in Daily OM the other day:

 “Often the reappearance of an old pattern is a sign that it has come full circle ready to be released”

It’s so important at this time to not run and hide from these old patterns, feel them, live them and let them dwell in your heart and mind for at least one day.

Everything is accelerating and that means your spiritual development.  There is much to be done to raise humanity’s vibration to shift us out of the old ways and into the new.  For me the “the new” means more love, compassion, generosity, tolerance, acceptance, forgiveness, ease, grace and joy.

all rights reserved Mary Baxter-St Clair
all rights reserved Mary Baxter-St Clair

For energy to transform though, we must experience at least some upheaval and upset at a conscious level.  Sure, much of what is occurring right now is happening beneath our awareness, but the sheer volume of collective misperceptions, miscreations and misunderstandings about who we are and why we are here is so immense, it’s bound to flow up and over into our daily lives.

Plus, much of what is occurring is happening in the service of healing our relationships with one another and the outpourings of emotion can’t help but challenge and push our relationships into new, more open ground.

So, let the unpleasantness flow while holding the awareness that this too shall pass and that good works are happening even though it feels so hard.

Gentleness and Truth.

Love The One You’re With

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing, and Trust The Universe

Remember that hit song from the sixties about free love and sexual liberation?

“If you can’t beee, with the one you love (honey), love the one you’re with”

I’ve been humming this tune all week, but it’s not what you think, I’m a happily married girl!

This song speaks to me about embracing what we are feeling and where we are in our lives right now, even if it doesn’t feel all that good and we are not living the life of our dreams just yet.

It’s all about acceptance I guess. Loving what is happening for you in this very moment!  My teachers tell me this is the quickest route to rapid positive shifts within and without.

Right now many of us are experiencing waves of strong emotion surfacing with increasing frequency and intensity. For me last week around the solar eclipse it was anger, seething, black and dense (I got over it and my family survived it by letting me be “there” with minimal disturbance – some furious cleaning, cooking and coast-walking was done).

I love being around rocks and water
I love being around rocks and water

I believe these long-suppressed emotions are emerging to be released and the way to be cleared for us to move into an existence of higher vibrating energetic resonance.

The emotions of higher vibration are joy, love, gratitude, compassion, enthusiasm, excitement, generosity, acceptance, optimism, appreciation, more anyone?

This all got me thinking though, is it just the unhappy feelings that we suppress or have some of us fallen into habits (learnt or innate in our characters), of suppressing the good feelings too? I think sometimes I suppress joy because somewhere along the way in my life I decided that there is something unsafe, unstable or even dangerous about unbridled joy. Huh?

ALERT! Watch out, live, public psychotherapy about to occur…

Why this is I do not know, I just have the awareness that when I am really happy I tend to find myself damping it all down. Perhaps by making the highs less high I figure the lows will be less low?

Enough of that.

All I’m telling you is, it really is time for us all to get REAL about who we are and who we want to be RIGHT NOW. And, if like me, your inner world and your life is handing you spades of crud to look at and hang out with for a day or so, well, try to be at peace with it all and allow it to be as it “is”. Because the more we fight and struggle against these opportunities to shift and let go of pain from the past, the tougher things will feel.

Phew, that was intense!

Sing along now, “love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with…”