We all feel as though we are in the driver’s seat of our own lives, right?
We call the shots, make the big decisions, use our logical, clever minds to make choices, set goals, say yes, say no.
Well, sort of. I’ve come to believe that for most of us, the conscious mind is actually playing only a very minor role in directing our life journey. In my humble view, it’s the unconscious beliefs, patterns and conditioning handed down mostly from our family and held deep within us that call most of the shots in our daily lives.
Yep, it’s not yours, it’s your grandparents’ and parents’ beliefs about money that cause you to panic at the thought of making that significant purchase or balk at risking it all by changing careers mid-life.
We think these are our views because they are what feels comfy, safe, familiar. We even hold onto the beliefs that hold us back from expressing who we really are, stop us from enjoying life to the full and make us into panic-stricken maniacs when unexpected crises hit because they form the foundations for our entire world-view. Without them we think we will be without an anchor, rudder or sails. Well our ego does anyway.
In fact, when self-love and acceptance blossoms first, the process of acknowledging and releasing family conditioning around issues of money, relationships, work, love, success, sexuality, the list goes on…can be well, liberating and freeing but also reassuring and very very grounding.
Because when we understand that we are divine beings connected always to universal knowing and wisdom, then all we need do is be guided by that inner compass that sees we are all one and all deserving of a wonderful, truthful life.
I know this sounds super airy fairy so I’ll give you some practical tips.
First, start listening to your thoughts and language about one aspect of life, let’s say, work. Notice whose views you are spouting. Are they really yours or have you learned them from a parent early in life? Something worth considering is that many experts in child development (both alternative and mainstream) are of the opinion that we absorb many of our core beliefs about ourselves and the world at large prior to the age of seven.
As a little exercise, when a belief you hold appears to be limiting your confidence, provoking fear or simply feels out-dated and irrational, hold the belief in your mind and ask yourself, “how old am I right now?”
If you focus your attention into your heart space in that moment, you might hear a number, see yourself as a child, see one of your parents way back then or get a sense of how that issue was treated emotionally. This process enables us to realise that many of our core beliefs were handed to us (mostly with good intentions), by our parents and not all of them are serving us well in the present moment. With this awareness we can begin the process of consciously replacing the unhelpful beliefs with views that support our heartfelt knowing that we are safe to be fully ourselves and be guided by what brings us and those around us, joy.
Sounds simple right? Well no, I guess it doesn’t actually does it.
This is a massive part of the evolution of the self that takes many of us half a life-time to crank into motion. The cool thing is, you can begin right now at any age. Becoming more conscious about how you live, love and work is a choice. And just imagine how much of a difference you are making to the children in your lives as they observe your liberation from automatic thinking into aware thinking.
Just imagine… 🙂