This past couple of weeks have been sort of strange for me. I’ve taken steps to get more serious about creating my on-line business and expanding my offerings on a local level.
It happened like this: I listened live, beamed from California (me, 9.30 Friday morning – them, 5.30 Thursday evening), to my Success Signature coaching call with Jennifer McLean and then at my clever husband’s firm prompting I got my brain organised and wrote a business plan.
Well, the business plan got done the following morning at 6.30 as I sat on my meditation bolster in the peaceful early-morning living room. I felt great!
And then…. Eek!… Help!… What do I do NEXT?
I’ve actually felt frozen in one place, unable to move, shuffle or even blink myself forward one inch.
So while I’ve been seeing clients, writing a half-day meditation course and beginning my women’s meditation circle for the year, I’ve also felt as though nothing at all is happening and I am making no progress at all towards my goals, you know, the BIG PICTURE.
What’s this all about?
I guess what I’m feeling right now is that I’d created some false expectations about what this new phase would feel like.
I’ve been procrastinating about taking my work seriously – by that I mean, making more than a part-time income from it and acknowledging for the first time how much of a difference I make in other people’s lives – and now that I’ve taken this huge leap of faith by setting down some plans in ink, it sort of feels a bit scary and difficult.
I imagined at this stage of the game I’d be feeling super-confident, focused and switched-on. I thought I would be ever-so productive and masterful in everything I created.
I don’t feel any of that.
So I’m just going back to what I know I’m good at. Waking up each day and doing the basics; being a mother and wife, looking after my soul and body by getting outdoors, opening that meditation course document and typing some words, intuiting a topic and creating a guided visualisation for my women’s meditation circle AND being fully present and open-hearted when I have a client sitting in front of me.
That actually sounds like a lot. Why then doesn’t it feel like enough?
This moment reminds me of something I said to a dear client recently:
“Don’t you know you are enough? Don’t you know your mere presence in the lives of your friends is enough?”
How often do the words issuing from my mouth in care of another actually have enormous significance for me?
Pretty much every time. I’m feeling humbled by life and drawn into myself….and it’s okay. I’m simply experiencing a new season, a new version of me and a new understanding of what success means.
Be kind to you, that means you, Tricia.