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Category: Self-Care and Self-Healing

The Top Five Pearls of Wisdom for New Mothers

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

Ten years ago this Mothers Day, my first-born child, a beautiful baby boy emerged into the world.  Thinking about my son’s tenth birthday this week, I wondered what advice I would give my younger self prior to his birth if I had the chance.

I wrote my 31 year-old self a letter and listed ten pearls of wisdom I think may have helped me back then.

Here are the first five:

The Top Five Pearls of Wisdom for New Mothers:

1. Relax, breathe and trust that all is well.

You don’t need to be perfect and you don’t need to know it all.  Your baby knows he is your first born.  The more relaxed and calm you are, the more he will be.  Go easier on yourself and make time to be alone with your thoughts.  Call it meditation, prayer or just sitting staring out the window.  Even the mother of a newborn can find ten minutes in her day to do this.  Make this a priority and you will feel calmer and more open to your inner wisdom.

2. Look after your body and your emotional health by exercising and eating healthily.

Get outside and walk with the pram, do yoga or some other activity that stretches your body. Also make time to express your creativity. Writing is great, or drawing, dancing, singing, whatever feels natural to you. Eat something from a plant (fruit, veg, nut, seed, grain) at every meal and be mindful of how much sugar you consume.

3. Make time to see or talk on the phone with friends.

Nurture these relationships for they are sacred and essential to your on-going happiness. Devote time and energy to making new friends among the other mums you will meet.  They often end up being your closest and most cherished friends in years to come.

4. Appreciate and support your partner.

He is doing his best to be a good provider and is just as confused about his place in the world as you are.  As your children grow, so will the two of you. Talking things over together each day and being honest about your dreams for the future is all you need to do. Patience and compassion are essential.

5. Find your passion and purpose in life while your children are still little.

Motherhood can be so fulfilling but those intense years of parenting are over in the blink of an eye.  Find courses, books, people and activities that resonate with you and make your heart sing.  Making yourself happy makes everyone around you happy.

To read the whole letter and the last five pearls of wisdom click here.

A lovely day to you all,

Tricia

A Day of Rest

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

I woke up this morning feeling a little off-colour and to be honest, I’m still a bit shocked as to what I did next.

I rested!

OK, I’ll admit I did get up and have a shower and make a half-hearted attempt at helping with the school morning prep.  But as this only confirmed to me that I was indeed not feeling very well, I happily went back to bed and let my darling husband drop the kids at school.

This is a real breakthrough for me because I actually felt at peace with looking after myself and there was no guilt or denial at all!

Phew!  I did have a pretty big weekend catching up on seminars on Healing with the Masters (lots of strong healing energy taken on board), and last week was pretty busy for me in my work.  Hey, sometimes we all need a proper day of rest don’t you think?

Lying in bed this morning gave me a great opportunity to have my husband bring me a cup of tea and to read a very inspiring book lent to me by my good friend Renee calledThe Top Five Regrets of the Dying  (click to read them here) by Bronnie Ware.  So great to read an inspirational book written in an Australian voice.

One story in the book that brought tears to my eyes was about an elderly man in his last weeks of life who held a painfully strong regret that he had worked too hard and had failed to enjoy his retirement with his wife.  He told how he had delayed his retirement for fifteen years as a result of fearing the change involved with ceasing work and being preoccupied with gaining more financial security.  As it turned out, his wife passed away three months prior to his planned retirement date and they never got to spend that precious time together.  So sad, and yet I am guessing quite common for his generation.

This is a reminder to me that it is absolutely the time for us to all live much more consciously and from our hearts.  A great book that I feel will help propel me into the next stage of my life.

I’m still working on the details but a couple of weeks ago I woke in the morning with the inspiration to begin publishing some excerpts of my book , Red Lily Mama, right here in this blog.  This feels like a really fun and exciting step to take, as I am feeling a little de-energised about approaching any more publishers right now.

I just want to share what I have written with some like-minded women and here you are, my lovely blog readers.  I am planning to create some publicity for the blog to swell my readership a little first, but maybe it’s already happening….  I was amazed to see that my latest subscriber is reading my words from Estonia! (Welcome Eva)

The internet is so magical to me!

Here are a couple of snaps of an impromptu family walk we took a couple of weeks ago near our local lighthouse on Cape Naturaliste.

Me and the kids
Cape Naturaliste Lighthouse

Until next time.
Be in your heart. Aaaah, surrender.
Love, Tricia

Releasing Expectation

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing, and Trust The Universe

I’ve been playing with the idea of ‘expectation’ this week.  I’ve been noticing quite intensely how it affects our experience of what IS.

We are such creative and imaginative beings!

The good part of this is that we can imagine up new ways of living, working, relating, looking and feeling in our world and then shift our lives in that more rewarding direction.  The not so good part of the power of our imagination is that we create beliefs, feelings and attitudes toward particular events or outcomes, and then when they don’t meet our pre-conceived imagining, we are disappointed, sometimes devastatingly so.

I experienced this strongly after the birth of my first child, when the way the delivery panned out fell way short of my expectations.  My disappointment and indeed, grief over this event lasted for years but the upside is, it triggered the gradual shifting of  many of my unhelpful and self-defeating beliefs.

Yeah, I suppose you could say this is just a part of the daily human experience. The ups and downs of life, you win some, you lose some.

What I reckon though, is that we put ourselves through far too much of this pain and that it is more pervasive than you might realise.

How many of us let little irritations like a less than satisfactory coffee, no parking spots in the shopping centre car park or  a lost set of car keys when we are running late affect our mood?

I certainly believe that to a large extent, we get out of life what we expect to get out of life.  The law of attraction and all that.

However, we are not in complete control of everything around us.  We are co-creating our experience with universal energies/love/God/the Divine, call it what you will.  Also, we are playing our role in the Divine dance of life on this planet with many other beings who have their own unique pathways to tread and their own human expectatations.

Many of our not-met expectations (disappointments) arise from other people not doing, saying, giving us what we hoped, darn it, EXPECTED they would.  This is where expectation is coming from a need to control our experiences so we feel safe.

I’ve observed that the happiest people around aren’t necessarily those who have lower expectations of life than the rest of us.  In fact, these people live in a constant state of joyful anticipation.  Doesn’t that sound good?

The difference in my mind between joyful anticipation and set expectations is in the detail.  When we hold the over-arching belief that life is full of good things for us but that we are not necessarily the best judge of what is good and what is bad, we can see pretty much any experience as being beneficial and we can release our feelings of disappointment that much quicker.

So, yes, feeling disappointed from time to time is a natural human reaction.  Developing the ability to let it go and see the good in every situation is to feel always blessed.

The Australian Bush Flower Essence, Freshwater Mangrove helps us to release pre-conceived beliefs and prejudices, freeing us up to appreciate the vast variety of beauty all around us.

Love and lightness,

Tricia

Resting – Whether I Like it or Not

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

The Bush Iris Essence helps me to tap into my inner wisdom

Since reminding myself two weeks ago here that happiness comes from within I have been thoroughly tested in attempting to live that wisdom.

Our daughter had a flu with a bad cough that developed into asthma, which meant she hardly went to school for the first two weeks of term. Then last week I caught the same bug and I’m still feeling pretty blah. There’s nothing like illness in the family to challenge my ability to live in total acceptance of what “is”.

I’m getting much better at going with the flow when one of the kids is sick but when it comes to me not being able to function as per usual, I am very far from Zen-like.  For the first couple of days I am in complete denial, then I’m a martyr and refuse to rest properly. Then when I give in and rest, the guilt over letting others down and impatience to be better kick in.  Phew!  Am I mentally unstable or what?

Well it’s day six now and I’m still feeling rotten so after this I’m going to lie down.

Amid all this reluctant convalescence, I can feel a change coming over me.  It’s like I have one foot through a doorway or a portal into a completely new way of being me and I can see glimpses of how it’s going to feel but I’m not there yet.

I believe illness serves a purpose and for me it feels like a whole lot of stored tension is coming to the surface to be released.  Not comfortable but worthwhile all the same.

When I look back over the past few months, I can see more clearly how much change we have been through in a pretty short time.  We made the decision to move down south in October, we put the house on the market in November and my husband resigned from his job.  In December we sold the house and in January we moved.  We have all left a community we felt connected to, the kids have left their school of four years and my husband and I have let go of the monthly salary we have been accustomed to for the past 16 years.

Many wise people are saying 2012 is a year for transformation.  We are all being supported to get real about how we want to live and to let go of all the ways we limit ourselves and make our own lives unpleasant.

Life is unfolding for each of us exactly as it should.  My husband is busily working on some projects as a consultant from home, the kids are settling happily into their new school and I am enjoying nature, seeing some new clients and gradually feeling my way forward into this new life.

I’ll keep you posted.

Much love and letting go,

Tricia

What My Eyes Behold

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

what an unusual bird to see in my backyard

I’ve learnt a thing or two about myself this week.  On the weekend we cleaned up the house for our Saturday ‘home open’ and then made a trip to the south west and stayed with our lovely friends at their house in Cowaramup.  As soon as we got there my eyes got very sore and sticky (sorry, I know it sounds gross).

I knew this was a result of the tension I was holding in my shoulders neck and yes, eyes as a result of switching into perfectionist mode to get the house looking ‘perfect’, while also packing the family to go away for two nights.  We went for a beautiful swim on Sunday morning and they felt a little better, but by Sunday night I could hardly keep them open.

Lying in bed on Sunday night trying to relax, I took some deep breaths and asked my eyes for the hundreth time what I needed to do differently to look after them better.  And Bam!  Clarity, finally.  The message I got was that I need to look with my eyes more softly and gently.  Just focusing on doing this even with them closed gave me the sensation that my eyeballs were relaxing and sinking back into the sockets a little.  The next morning they were a little better and by the end of the day absolutely fine.

My nature in the past has definitely to be quite hawk-eyed.  I am big on examining, analysing and seeking out the most minute detail in every moment.  In that moment of clarity I became aware that to ease off on how hard I look at everything would be wonderful for me, and also that I can make better use of my other senses to balance things out.

So, for the last few days I have been gently reminding myself to look softly and gently upon the world and to rely a little more on my heart, ears, body, skin and nose to communicate information that is relevant to me in each moment.

I went into my backyard yesterday evening and saw this amazing bird with such piercing eyes sitting on our fence.  It struck me with its confidence and poise as a willy-wagtail hopped around it and chirped furiously at it to go away. As we are really close to the ocean, it looked to me like some sort of ocean-going bird.  It rained all day yesterday and I think it was sitting peacefully in the sun drying off a little.  About an hour later it spread its wings and flew away.

This felt to me like a window into a new world where I see different things and respond to the world in a new way when I use my sight more gracefully.  Ahh, nice.

Last week of school for my kids, must run.

Love and relaxation,

Tricia

Look at it and then Let it Go

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

The Bush Fuchsia Essence enhances our powers of verbal expression and helps us connect with our intuition

Wow, what a week.  That new moon energy I spoke of really stirred and shook me up on Thursday.  I felt energised, anxious, tense and tired all at once!  Once Friday came and the new moon had passed I felt much better.

Something I have been doing lately – with all the change happening in my life – is writing down how I am feeling in my journal when I first wake up in the morning.  My friend Astara reminded me of this in her post this week at The Sacred Serpent.  She highlighted the importance of looking at and acknowledging our emotions on a daily basis.  Writing, drawing, dancing and singing can all be wonderful outlets for our feelings.  Any activity that brings our feeling state out into the light to be looked at and released is really wonderful.

It sounds really simple but just the act of writing down how I feel actually resolves many of those daily niggles.  Once I have written one or two pages, I feel lighter and there is much less intensity to those more unpleasant emotions like frustration, anger and impatience.

Sounds like a nice way to start the day?

I also dance most mornings, meditate later in the day and do some yoga stretches before I go to bed.  But that’s just what I have found works for me.  And even with all that, I still feel stressed and get a tight neck and shoulders on a regular basis. Oh, and don’t mention those itchy eyes that have returned to me this week.

All of us women really need look after our physical, emotional and spiritual bodies.  Particularly for those of us who are partners and mothers, as we often end up as the nurturers and energetic sponges in our families.  You know, we take on and feel what others in the home are not able to, or are blissfully ignorant of.

This especially happens when someone close to us passes away.  Most women of Anglo-Saxon heritage have grown up with the unconscious belief that it is the woman’s role to hold and express the grief for the males in the family.  This old and outdated pattern is slowly changing today, but even for those of us who grew up in the 1970’s, 80’s and 90’s, it was common to be raised with this cultural practice.

I have found that the flow-on benefits of acknowledging and releasing feelings on a daily basis are; a greater capacity to roll with whatever is happening in my day and not react strongly to those little everyday hassles, and a much greater openness to goodness, love and all manner of blessings.

That sounds lovely doesn’t it.

Wonderful week to you all,

Tricia

Heading South for a New Beginning

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

Smith’s Beach Yallingup WA

Well, the For Sale sign is in the front yard, I’m busy filling out school enrolment forms and the house is exceptionally clean.  Yep, that big change I mentioned way back in July is finally happening.

We are moving to the south-west of WA to a little place called Dunsborough.  And it’s all happening in about seven weeks! AAhh!!

My husband resigned from his job yesterday and as of today we have only sketchy plans regarding what he will do for work and where we’ll be living.  At least we’ve decided which school the kids will be going to, that’s one item on the ‘to do’ list we can tick.  Plus, I’m feeling excited about meeting a whole new bunch of women as I gear up to promote my counselling and healing services to a whole new community.

I’m looking forward to so many things about living in this lovely part of the world: Beautiful beaches, bush walks, a more relaxed pace of life and lots of peace and quiet.  But I won’t keep going on about it and make you all too jealous.

The reality is, this whole process is and has been really super-duper stressful.  Whoever said change is easy?  Nobody did, that’s because this sort of whole life reinvention sounds wonderful in theory and I feel that for us it will eventually be wonderful in reality too.  It’s just that uncertainty has never been one of my best friends and at the moment we are spending every waking hour together.

How do you handle big doses of uncertainty?

I tend to get tense in the neck and shoulders, hold my breath and frown quite a bit.  On the mental/emotional level I feel anxious, uptight and restless.

The answer for me is to stop regularly amid the window cleaning, cupboard tidying and email answering and check in with myself.  This means sitting or lying down in silence and taking some deep breaths.  Then when I feel calm, I ask my inner self what feelings are there at the moment.  It might be overwhelm, sadness, fear or excitement.  Then I give myself a minute or so to feel whatever is there and then by focusing on my heart space and my “I Am” presence, gently bring myself back to my peaceful centre.

I’m doing this many times a day at the moment and it’s allowing me to keep moving through the tasks I have to do while feeling fully connected with my inner self.  I find this is much better for me than getting stuck in my own head full of thoughts and concerns.  That just creates a headache.

I’m also reminding myself each day that as a family, we have been guided to this journey and that we have abundant support from the spirit realm to bring it to fruition.  Thank you Spirit, our many guides and angels and wonderful Mother Earth.

New life, here we come!  First I need to take a little rest though.

Love to you all,

Tricia