Skip to content

Category: Self-Care and Self-Healing

Why Are We Afraid of Being Soft?

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

To be soft, yielding, gentle, quiet, accepting, open, innocent, trusting….

They’re not qualities we value so much these days.

Our culture seems to value their opposites – tough, strong, critical, resilient, decisive, assertive, cynical and street-wise.  It’s the yin and yang, the feminine and masculine at their extremes.

Because of course we can be soft and strong, quiet and assertive, gentle and tough.

Yes indeed. Think of a rose – soft and delicate petals with tough leaves and strong, thorn-laden stems. Nature at its most wondrous.

I feel we’ve forgotten the value of softness.

Softness is love, warmth, praise, compassion, open-mindedness, trust, vulnerability, acceptance, appreciation…

Just think about it, when you’re with your family, is the mood one of softness or hardness?  Could there be a softening?  Would it feel better?  Would it allow more love in?

When I’m quick to assert an opinion, make a judgement, defend myself or speak without really listening, I’m not adding a loving presence.  I’m certainly not bonding more closely with the people I love. If anything, I’m holding them at a distance.

If I could just soften a little, slow things down, be more gentle and open:

Would people walk all over me?

Would I lose my way?

Would I be diminished in my effectiveness, my productivity?

Would I count for less?

The archetype of the soft and loving mother has become an anachronism.  She disappeared out of fear and shame in the face of a masculine-oriented world.  The gentler feminine qualities were subjected to ridicule and derision. It became an insult to be soft.  Toughness and boldness became the goal.

The harshness of the world has taken this quality away from us, men and women both.

We’re hard on ourselves.  We’re taught to compare and compete against others from a young age.  We’re taught it’s a dog eat dog world – you’d better get the prize before your neighbour does.

Try harder, do better next time, don’t let yourself down, toughen up, keep going, don’t give up, don’t be so soft.

You got this!

I want to break it all down and let it go and not just because it doesn’t feel good….also because it doesn’t work.

I don’t do better when I strive harder, are more critical of myself or more uncompromising.  It just makes me freeze up and feel panicked.  I’ve always been sensitive to stress. When I was a student I had performance-stunting anxiety in exams, became mentally scattered and unfocused under deadline pressure and would end up ill after prolonged periods of emotional strain and busyness.

I do not thrive under pressure.

Does anyone really?  I suspect we get addicted to the adrenaline rush and the ego-trip of being so busy we haven’t got time to scratch ourselves.  I’m busy and stressed, therefore, I’m important.

Of course having some degree of structure and discipline is essential for getting things done but do we really need to harangue ourselves into feeling a slave to every task, overwhelmed and a failure?

So where does that leave us?  I feel we’re starved of self-love and self-compassion.  Danielle Laporte raises this point in her new book White Hot Truth…check out some excerpts here.

We’re all trying so hard to be too much to too many people and it hurts.

What if we just softened a little?

I’d love to hear your thoughts….

For sessions with me click here and give me a call to book your FREE 15 minute consultation.

Is Ancient Shame Holding You Back?

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

Shame that’s hidden from view is still shame that holds us back.

Mainly from love – giving and receiving.

We’ve all done things we’re ashamed of right?

Cast your mind back to childhood and I’m sure you’ll find something – a lie, a theft, a blurted nasty comment, classroom cheating, betrayal of a friend….

Ringing any bells?

More than twenty years ago I betrayed the man I had made marriage vows with not much more than a year earlier.

I left him for someone else.

I knew then as I know now, it was for the best.

I still hated myself for the pain I caused. I wished it could have been different – sort of.

It was exactly what it was and maybe the only way it could have been after nine years of familiarity and habit.

It did it because I’d been thrown a lifeline and I wanted to live – gawd that sounds dramatic.  I wasn’t in any physical danger.  It was just that I felt like I was sinking.

It wasn’t his fault. We’d just created something that wasn’t very happy.  The dynamic was all wrong and I suddenly saw it for what it had become;  we were like brother and sister.

I wanted more and I felt trapped with what we were capable of.  I began to harden up, toughen my outlook.  I set my jaw and steeled my gaze.

I guess I thought I could manage it okay if I changed myself enough. I held my breath.

And then I saw him at the party.  My husband was outside chatting with someone.  I walked inside and there sitting with an empty chair beside him, was a person I’d always wondered about.

I sat down and before I knew it I’d said, “I still have feelings for you.”

“But you’re married”, he said.  “I was at your wedding”, he said.

“I know”.

We both leaned forward, heads in our hands and smiled silly, hopeless sort of smiles.

Weeks went by and I told myself that was that. Nothing could happen.

Coincidentally, he worked at the university where I was studying. We met up a few times in the campus grounds after my lectures. Sat on hard benches and talked as the sun went down.

I persisted that it was pointless as I wasn’t about to leave my marriage. I said, I couldn’t bear to go through that.

He gently said, “You wouldn’t be sitting here talking to me if you were happy.”

Then a few weeks later he flew to England for a planned six month stay.

Just before he left, my husband worked out something was up.

One week later I moved out.

Life went on. I kept studying and working, friends chose camps, my parents were very supportive, I never saw my in-laws again.

It wasn’t easy but I had this little voice inside that I’d ignored years earlier when I was confused about love.  It whispered; stay strong, keep going, this is temporary, you’re doing fine.

My new flame came home and we moved in together. Four years later we got married.  You know the rest….kids, jobs, studies, homes, holidays, change, challenges, a move to the country and suddenly we’re middle-aged.

Up until last week I thought I was over this part of my story.  I’d done the counselling, read the books, been healed by experts, become a healer myself, gotten it all straight in my mind and reached a level of peace about it.

The Australian Bush Flower Essence – wedding bush supports us in being committed to any aspect of life.

But in truth I’m still holding it against myself.  I’m still ashamed of what I did and only I can resolve that. And resolve it I will because what I’ve realised is that this shame is stopping me from having the quality and depth of love I want in my relationship with not only my husband but with all the important people in my life.

So how?  This is what I feel:

  • Put my hands on my heart and love myself a little more
  • Feel into my soul, trust in the wisdom I followed and know that it was my best choice at the time
  • Grow into stronger compassion for the 24 year-old me who was simply saving herself
  • Give thanks to the universe for giving me the courage to step forward onto that new path and risk losing everyone’s love in the process.

All these old fragmented, hidden parts of ourselves don’t really need to be released or healed….they need to be integrated into the wondrous, complex and multi-faceted beings that we are.

We don’t need to continually make ourselves wrong or flawed or broken.  We’re all the villain and the victim. We’re all innocent and all guilty.  We are all deserving of love no matter what.

Tricia

Book a session with me by first going here….

Five ways to tell if you’re being safe or real

Posted in Live From Intuition, and Self-Care and Self-Healing

We’re born complete. We’re born real.

We start out life as these individual sparks.  Both perfect and flawed.

Wonderful and remarkable, yet quirky and somehow not-quite-formed to those who love us.

This is where it begins…

Even in the womb we’re absorbing information.  Feeling and sensing who we might be.  Then we come out into the world and we begin taking stock, tallying the facts as we see them and adjusting our responses.

Managing our image.

Who we start to become is still us, it’s just that, well, we can’t help but be partly molded and shaped by what we experience, who we spend time with each day and what they think and feel.

And don’t get me wrong, none of this is a mistake, none of it’s wrong or anything other than what our soul ordered from the cosmos when we deigned to alight on this here planet of ours.

It’s just that sometimes we end up forgetting lots about who we really are.

We grow up and blindly become a version of our parents or we follow a set of beliefs gained from family, church, school or culture that sort of feels correct but scrape the surface just a smidge and it can suddenly all feel like someone else’s ill-fitting suit.

You know what I mean? We reach maybe 26, and wake up one day in a career, relationship, town, crime gang, religious cult or all of the above and think, “How did I get here?”.

We get the urge to wriggle free and escape.

But oh the temptation to remain safe and approved of.  It’s mighty powerful.

Why rock the raft or bite the hand?

It might feel scary and cause some consternation among those who wish we would stay the same (cos then they can stay safe too), but believe me, the open road beats the prison cell any day.

img_1650

Let’s get down to tin tacks.

Here are five ways you can find out if you’re being real in your life:

  1. If you feel completely at ease and good about yourself when you spend time with your closest friends and you don’t need to dress a certain way or talk a certain way in order to fit in – good job, you’re keeping things real.
  2. If you have a job where your work mates see the same ‘you’ as your friends and family do then, you’re probably being pretty authentic.
  3. If you can look into your wardrobe and see plenty of clothes you feel good in and enjoy wearing, then you’re choosing clothing for the right reasons, i.e. you like them and buy for yourself rather than to please anyone else – that’s you being real.
  4. If you feel things are pretty fair and even in your relationship when it comes to choosing things together such as meals to cook, grocery or household items to buy, movies or television to watch, outings or holidays to enjoy – then you’re clearly expressing your preferences openly and that’s a good thing.
  5. If you’re comfortable to say no to requests or invitations from friends and family sometimes because what they’re wanting you to do doesn’t feel right or doesn’t fit in with your desires or plans AND you feel totally relaxed and comfortable with doing this, then right on! You are really rocking this realness gig.

Tick yes to three of the above five scenarios and I would say you’re doing pretty darn good with being true to who you are.  Less than three and I’d recommend you rethink some of your automatic choices.

It’s all about how we feel:  That surge of anxiety when mum drops in for a cuppa, “Shit, is the floor clean enough?”

That sinking feeling you get when a certain couple invite you to a party and you recall not liking any of their friends….

You get the gist.

I’d love to help you with a personal session.  Simply read more here and then give me a phone call to talk it over and make your booking.

Love, Tricia

 

 

How to Evolve Without Making Yourself Wrong

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

You know you’re here to grow and change right?  But are you like me? Do you find it hard to evolve without feeling that everything that came before this new fresh moment has been wrong?

When we make those sudden leaps of growth and suddenly see how flawed our thinking has been, it’s very tempting to judge ourselves harshly.

We all go through times of rapid transition and evolution.

Sometimes it makes my head spin.

One minute we’re rolling down a road we set out on years ago, and then suddenly, we come to a screeching halt, look back, look forward and decide to take a left turn.

Then, not surprisingly we come over all self-critical. We sometimes question why we were ever on that dusty old road to begin with.  “What was I thinking?”, we say to ourselves.

Any first marriages spring to mind? Mine does

Then we spend energy and time pointlessly beating ourselves up over all the past decisions, plans, beliefs and dreams that failed to make us happy. It’s so easy to see how wrong we were. But where would we truly be without having taken that risk, forded that river, climbed that hill?

img_0174
My gorgeous risk taker.

Is looking back with regret really helping us to enjoy life? No, I feel it undermines the new life we are aiming to create and more…

My top five reasons why it’s so important to stop indulging in self-criticism when we evolve:

  1. It prevents us from acknowledging how far we’ve come and celebrating our successes
  2. It keeps us stuck in the past and unable to enjoy the present
  3. It deters us from continuing to improve our lives because we become fearful of making a mistake
  4. It stops us gleaning the gold from the tough times we’ve experienced and being able to forgive
  5. It reduces our capacity for self-love and self-compassion

Your marriage ended. So what? Your business failed. So what? You didn’t get your dream job? So what?…..You learned some cool things right? You certainly evolved.

Life’s not about being perfect, being right all the time or having 100% clear foresight.

The people who play it safe and stick with the decisions they made in their early twenties only because breaking out of that world feels way too risky, are the ones who end up unhappy later in life.

Those of us who run headlong into adventure, change, new experiences and new ideas on how to live are the ones who I see thriving and living more vibrant, engaged, fulfilling lives.  Mistakes and failures are all part of the ride.

So to wind this up, let’s look at the alternatives.  As I see it we have three choices:

  • Never change
  • Change and beat ourselves up about getting it wrong the first time around
  • Change and celebrate our freedom and flexibility to be adaptable.

Easy choice right?

If you’d like some help with your capacity to evolve and feel good about it then just contact me here for a session. (Click here). I’m available for bookings right through the festive season.

Much love, Tricia

The Truth About Meditation – Sometimes it hurts

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing, and Uncategorized

Want to know why you keep sabotaging your daily meditation practice with distractions and excuses?

I don’t know how to tell you this, but one of the cold hard truths of meditation is that sometimes it really sucks. I mean, it’s mostly a self-nurturing and emotion-soothing activity.  Mostly.

It’s just that one of the most beneficial effects can also be one of the most upsetting and destabilising for those of us who have a past and have emotions.  Oh, that’s you? Yeah, it’s me too.

img_1780

Put simply, there’s just no running away from your true feelings about anything when you’re a regular meditator.

And when life is going off the rails and it feels easier to just abandon your meditation practice ’cause you’re “too stressed”, well I hate to sound like your mother, but that’s when you need MORE meditation, not less my dear.

Just because it sometimes makes you feel worse rather than better, doesn’t mean it’s not doing you good.  I sound like a health tonic peddler from yesteryear; “drink it all down now girlie.”

If you’re anything like me, when the stuff hits the fan it gets swallowed down so there’s only the faintest taste left in your mouth. And yet, you think you’re dealing with it and subsequently, you think you’re feeling okay.

Just last month I had to process some sad family news that left me reeling in ways I found quite surprising given my rigorous self-care regime and pretty healthy emotional state.  It was a few days after I was told the news that I woke up feeling very flat and sad.  I knew I had to take some time out to meditate and sit with the feelings that were weighing me down.

So I sat for about 20 minutes.  I later realised that this was nowhere near long enough because upon emerging from the room after my meditation, my husband asked me a simple question and then he responded with mild disappointment to my response and, well, I completely lost it.

There was some screaming and crying.  It didn’t last for long but it was pretty scary and exhausting for us both.

I’m sharing this with you for a couple of reasons.  Firstly to reassure you that I’m just like anyone else when placed under stress (perhaps even more sensitive than the average peep). Secondly to declare that emotional outbursts are sometimes necessary and healthy as a marvelous release of pent up energy.

And also, to acknowledge that had I been a little more in touch with the depth of feeling that was there that day, I would have sat in meditation for much longer and probably accessed the tears that needed to be shed in a much more gentle way.

Which way is better?

As my 12 year old daughter often says, “Meh? (shoulder shrug).”

Who knows.  Nothing we experience is actually wrong or bad, it’s just that with the benefit of hindsight we can reflect on what happened and then make a different choice next time around.

What I want to express here though is that although meditation taps into our deeper emotions which can make us feel less than calm and Zen-like, avoiding feeling them is not a great alternative.

What we’re dealing with here is a genuine human need to slow it all down and be REAL.

Our culture leads us to believe that distraction is the answer to everything that upsets us:

  • Eat something
  • Buy something
  • Watch something
  • Be outraged
  • Be critical of others
  • Talk non-stop
  • Overwork
  • Plan another holiday….

Sound familiar?

These distractions don’t serve us really though do they? They neither heal us, resolve our problems nor make us happy.

I don’t need to outline our mental or physical health stats do I?

They just mask what’s really missing and that for me is; inner peace, trust in a higher power and the wholeness inherent in every moment.  Plus the reality that we humans have emotions like fear, sadness, grief and anger.

How come we can feel it for a television show character but not for ourselves?

Something to ponder <3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But I Thought I was Someone Else… Integrating the Shadow

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

What if the person you thought you were, was just an illusion?…….Just a mask or overlay, and there was a whole different YOU that you needed to get to know?

Let me explain:

Who I thought I was and what I valued about ‘her’ as a person is slowly dissolving before my eyes.

Uh, hold on, that sounds a little melodramatic.  What I’m about to describe is more about full integration than dissolution.

It all began quite recently when I received my first ever astrological reading.  I’ve always been intensely interested in astrology and numerology but for some reason, it took me until now to get a birth chart done.

And as my learned astrologer Renee said; “Maybe there’s a reason for that”, because what I discovered about my chart, totally destabilised who I thought I was.

First things first, I’m a Virgo with my Moon in Cancer, and Mars and Black Moon in Leo…. but enough of that.

Now, I thought that as a Virgo, I had all the Virgo qualities and nothing else.  Turns out it’s not that simple, there’s so much more to discover when you take a proper look.

virgo sign
photo credit: lunaf.com

In fact, despite thinking I was a model Virgo – oh so methodical, organised, health-conscious, discriminating, neat, caring, analytical and wise – when Renee told me my birth chart reflected quite a chaotic set of influences, I was floored!

Me?

Chaotic?

Then over a period of weeks, it slowing began dawning on me and settling into my core…..

I’ve been battling against my true nature ever since I was a small child and it’s all related to my anxious personality, which when I look deeper, was a coping mechanism I created to hide from my natural gifts of sensitivity, creativity, empathy and intuition.

Many of us with these gifts face challenges around anxiety and depression due to our fears of being discovered, exposed.  We come to believe that it’s safer to withdraw, keep our perceptions and wisdom to ourselves and be isolated in our awareness, than it is to speak up or respond to the guidance we are receiving.

This is nobody’s fault, life just seems to do that to many of us, no matter the circumstances, and in my belief system, I feel these fears are based on experiences we’ve been through in other lifetimes.  I believe it’s my journey in this lifetime to consciously reclaim these parts of myself and to use them in the service of others.

I’ve always had a feeling of confidence when with I’m with people I know and trust.  But as child I would completely shut down and panic if I was taken somewhere new and forced to interact with strangers, even if they were other children. I was chronically shy.

In my childish efforts to handle my nervous disposition I focused on being as good and as nice as I could at school and at home and prioritised creating harmony, approval and peace around myself.

I also got good at doing things well and gained self-esteem from my school and sporting achievements. Oh, and my Mum and Dad loved and supported me as well. That helped 🙂

It was only when I finished high school and stepped nervously out into the wider world, that my confidence and faith in my abilities started to wobble.  My twenties were a very uncertain and bumpy time as I discovered that the ‘Tricia’ I had created as a child didn’t readily translate into the ‘take charge’ kind of woman I longed to be.

I was too concerned with keeping others happy and not assertive at all in expressing my needs.

Thank goodness that’s all over!

 

The fact is we change. We’re constantly changing and the more consciously open to change we are, the faster it happens.  What I’ve recently bumped up against is the reality that my perceptions of who I am are out of date.

I’ve been faithfully (more like doggedly) clinging to quite a few traits that are wearing thin from overuse and masking the deeper me.

Let me give you an example; feeling attached to the qualities of being organised and punctual has left me in denial of my natural tendencies to reject routine and repetition and run five minutes late to just about everything.

Anyone else with me here?

I’m ready to own my shadow qualities so I can relax more and just be myself.

It’s in the shadow qualities of selfishness, greed, envy, chronic tardiness, arrogance, nastiness and the gigantic catalogue of fears most of us have, that we find some of our deepest, most rich and fascinating experiences, opportunities for growth and creative ideas.

Don’t you think?

Anyway, I’m putting it out there for you to take a look at your shadow side and allow the darkness to balance the light.  I’ll be right there with you.

And it’s all there within each of us anyway, so we might as well acknowledge it fully and embrace the contrasts.

So much more to say here but that’s enough for now.

Much love, Tricia

I’m available for phone, Skype and in-person healing and guidance sessions – Click here.

 

 

 

 

5 Ways To Relax Into The New Year

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

I think I’ve finally kicked the habit.  For many years I’ve been placing an enormous amount of pressure on myself to begin each new year soaring…achieving, pushing, working and striving to make it all happen and make it happen NOW.

And I can safely say, it never works.  All that happens is I end up with lots of neck and shoulder tension and this annoying itchy eye condition that I’d rather not experience.

What is it about January that makes me feel this way?

Being quite fascinated with numerology, I guess it has something to do with the energy of the number 1.

‘One’ energy resonates with achievement, singular focus, new beginnings, creativity and confidence. It reflects the masculine traits of action, ego and individual success. Aha, my urge to get working suddenly makes sense.

The contrast to this ‘1’ energy is that January is summer holiday time for us here in Australia. The necessities of entertaining children, taking a break from routine and actually enjoying our glorious summer weather means not a lot of “real work” gets done.

This is the first year since our children started school that I’ve been able to let go of the need to “chop chop”, be productive, get on with the business of the year and simply embrace the reality that yes, I can do a little bit of work here and there, but primarily, January is a holiday month for our family and I might as well enjoy it.

20160102_100730

Staying with the numerology theme, this is a universal year 9 which means it’s the final year in a global nine year cycle. A year 9 is a good time to complete projects, begin and end relationships, start new businesses and jobs, move house and reflect upon how far you’ve come over the past eight years.

Nine energy is also about taking action on humanitarian fronts, looking after and being responsive to others and creating a vision or set of ideals about how we would like our lives to progress as we begin a new cycle later this year. It’s also a great time to cleanse, release and de-clutter in all life areas.

So, now that the new year has begun, how do we create a balance of forward momentum and relaxed living?

Here are my top 5 ways you can begin the new year feeling more relaxed (and still get stuff done):

  1. Take the pressure off – we have a whole 12 months ahead of us, think of January as your launching place and use it to set intentions and goals for the coming year.  No need to get it all done this month.
  2. Honour your intuition – I’ve learned to respond to my intuitive urges each day and do what feels good. When I’m aware that there’s something I need to do such as making a phone call, paying a bill or going to the shops, I wait until the timing feels right and I flow with that energy.  This approach always serves me better than forcing myself to tackle a job when it’s feeling like a burden or an effort.
  3. Set up good self-care rituals –  the start of a year is a wonderful time to release old habits and begin new and ones.  I had a massage on Christmas Eve which I really enjoyed so I booked another for this week and I’m really looking forward to it. This year I’m committed to looking after my own well-being even better than I did last year.
  4. Embrace the value of blank space – we all need time away from our achievement-focused selves.  Despite having strong desires for my personal life, business, relationships and family for this year, I can drop it all in the moment of diving into the ocean, walking in the bush or reading a novel. Seek out some blank space moments and enjoy them.
  5. Acknowledge how far you’ve come – we’re all completing a nine year cycle of existence this year so create a spirit of celebration around all the progress and positive changes you’ve made in your life over this period.  It’s been an amazing time for you, I know it has. Take a breath at the summit and enjoy the view.

May this January deliver a gentle start to the year for you and I.  Go softly and listen within for your path forward and it will be SO.

I’m available for appointments this month so check out my session work info here and give me a call to make your booking to bring a sweet, loving and fresh focus to your life.

Much love to you, Tricia

Love Your Body and Ignite Your True Power

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

I like my body.  I can even conjure up a gentle feeling of love for it most days of the week.  But you know what? I love it more when I hold my tummy in and when I don’t look too closely at my hips or the backs of my thighs.

I’m really sick of these feelings of judgement and dissatisfaction.  It feels nitpicky and petty at my age to be pin-pointing body parts to dislike and wish were different.  Haven’t I got more important things to give my energy to?

Well most of the time I do, but then I walk past a window or mirror and accidentally see my reflection and that little voice in my head says; “Oh look how my tummy bulges” or, “Man I’ve got a solid rear” or, “Can I still wear shorts in public?”

You with me?

Just try to imagine right now in this moment, how it would feel to instantly relax and simply know your body is perfect? **(read right to the end to learn about the big benefits of loving your body)

Because as I step into ‘observer’ role and look at myself from the outside, there is absolutely nothing wrong with my body.:

  • It works well
  • It fits quite comfortably into all the clothes I own
  • I feel good most days – that’s my body I’m feeling good in right?
  • My husband often tells me I look great

So what’s the problem?

I fear the problem is this little thing called social conditioning.  I grew up in the era of the super-skinny super-model, the first fashion magazines aimed at teens, a burgeoning weight loss industry and the biggy, AEROBICS. Can we, teens of the eighties blame all of our body image issues on those nasty g-string leotards? Okay, probably not but they were pretty bad right?

I know most of my issues of body dissatisfaction come from my culture rather than my family because food and weight-loss were non-issues for my tall, slim parents.  My mother was never on a diet, we always ate hearty meals, had a block of Cadbury’s in the pantry for Friday nights and had takeaway fish and chips every now and then.  I’ve always looked after myself fairly well and the largest I’ve ever been is a size 12 (um, that’s about an 8 in the U.S.).

What I’m saying is, my body and I suspect your body, isn’t the issue, the problem is how we feel about them.

We’ve been brainwashed at an impressionable age to believe it’s normal to criticise ourselves and be unhappy about how we look. And it’s all a load of complete nonsense.

All I can recommend is, stop the negative self-talk by monitoring your silent and spoken language about your appearance and cut out the insults.  Also, notice how you silently judge others by their appearance and use emotions like envy or disgust to mentally place them in limiting boxes labelled by how they look.

It’s time for a clear out of how we view and rate our own appearance and the appearance of others. How amazing would it be if we were all free of the superficial labeling and assumptions we create about the way we each look?

Here are some truly wonderful benefits you can look forward to manifesting in your life when you make peace with your appearance…

  • You will fully EMBODY your essence, beauty and divinity and make a deeper connection to your inner wisdom.  Our bodies are an extension of our spirit and soul, not separate and not ‘less than’.
  • You will instinctively begin to look after your body better with the food and exercise it craves
  • You will feel more confident to be yourself, dress how you like to dress and relax into your own personal style
  • Your relationships will be richer and more loving because you won’t be holding anything against yourself or others for how you or they look
  • You will feel free to get on with all the creative and work projects you’ve been procrastinating over because you will be in a state of higher energy, love and respect for yourself.

20150612_150723-1

Told you it was worth reading right to the end.

If you’d like some personal help from me with any of this please feel free to read more here about how I work with people individually or phone me on 0418 698 305 for a chat.

Enjoy your day. Much love, Tricia

How To Turn Trauma Into Triumph

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

Have you ever realised that your most traumatic life experiences just might be the greatest gifts you’ve ever received?

How we feel about the ‘bad things’ that have happened in our lives has the power to make or break us in ways that are far reaching and sometimes life altering.

When we feel victimised by what life has handed us, we relinquish our power to fully recover and see the gifts in the event.  When we can eventually come to terms with what’s happened and even manage to feel grateful for it, we increase our capacity to bounce back from future crises as well as life’s daily hassles.

Trauma and crisis make us humble, compassionate, grateful and resilient.

The birth of my son more than 13 years ago would rank right up there as one of the most traumatic experiences of my life and yet, it was clearly one of my most treasured gifts because once it was all over…he was alive and healthy, I was alive and fairly healthy considering what I’d endured, and most importantly, I’d become a mother.

Not only that, I’d been humbled and brought into a truer alignment with my soul’s path. Experiencing that very difficult birth allowed me to disassemble much of what I’d previously thought about who I was and how my life was supposed to be and then bit by bit, to create a more authentic and richer version of myself.

IMG_20150812_201922

And you know, even though I’ve gotten over the grief, regret and strong sense of failure I felt for a few years (yes years), after the event, this strong memory still has the power to get me fired up.

What makes me cross is that as a society we persist in the belief that all trauma is bad, to be regretted and that if crappy things have happened in a person’s life it somehow means they are faulty or deficient.

One of my very wise and resilient clients who has experienced a difficult marriage separation in the last year says to herself and her children:

“This is just something that’s happening to you it’s not who YOU are.”

I love this because it’s so true and so simple to understand.

We don’t need to identify with or be fully defined by the challenging episodes in our lives. And until we’re ready to see and feel the blessing in what’s occurred, it’s perfectly acceptable and even desirable to express how we feel with honesty and courage.

So here’s what I’d recommend for turning your perspective of loss, failure or resentment over what’s happened into feelings of inner strength, optimism and gratitude:

Step one: Honour the emotions that are there and feel them. Try not to attach any judgments to the feelings as classifying emotions as negative or positive is actually pretty flawed and unhelpful.

We feel what we feel, that’s all.  None of it is wrong or bad.

Step two: Talk, write, sing, dance, cry, draw and paint about how you feel until a feeling of peace and acceptance washes over you and the feelings soften a little (even if only temporarily).

Step three: Look for just one blessing in the event and write it down or tell someone about it.

Step four: Take yourself into a meditative state – just sit down, close your eyes and bring your attention to within the centre of your being – and see yourself being an objective observer of what has happened.  Then try seeing all of the other players in the event and how each of them has had their own experience and received their own gifts.

Ask within yourself to be shown the deeper significance of this experience and hold an intention of wonder and curiosity about what you might discover.

We’re not here to avoid trauma and crisis at any cost because to be quite honest, we can’t. Plus, there is a greater mystery in motion that is completely out of our control. And when we realise that our challenges and crises make us rather than break us, may we bless them all and revel in their divine beauty.

For some personal attention with coming to terms with a difficult time in your life, contact me for a chat and book an in-person, telephone or Skype session with me sometime.  Read more here about how I work…

Blessings abound, Tricia