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Author: guidetw7

Tricia Woods helps women tune into and live from their intuitive wisdom and passions. Her mantra is "If we can simply relax into our own natural magnificence, then life shows us the way forward". Tricia is available for healing and intuitive coaching sessions in-person or by telephone.

Your Envy is a Call to Action

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

Don’t just sit there in that state of envy. And don’t push it away, smother it or put yourself down for feeling it. If you want what someone else has and it makes you feel bad, then maybe you need to take a closer look at what you really want in this life.

What dream have you been denying?

What gifts within yourself have you been ignoring?

Have you romanticised someone else’s life because you feel blocked in the creation of your own?

I used to envy artists. I felt I wanted the life of a successful artist because I loved the idea of standing at the easel in a well-lit room that looked out over a beautiful garden, creating lovely paintings, on my own, all day long. But you know, I’m not really an artist, I’m a writer.

bee on blossoms
I’m also a keen nature photographer.

So what’s the problem? Well it felt to me that it was easy for artists to be artists and that if I became a really skilled painter, then I could create that dream life. But you see, it’s much easier for me to write and the truth is, it’s not easy for anyone to live out their creative gifts to their full potential. Everyone struggles with their process as a maker of anything they feel inspired to create. Any creative pursuit requires hard work and often involves going through a whole heap of self-doubt, fear and self-loathing along the way. 

As Elizabeth Gilbert writes in her fabulous book, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear; 

“Creativity is sacred, and it is not sacred. What we make matters enormously, and it doesn’t matter at all. We toil alone, and we are accompanied by spirits. We are terrified, and we are brave. Art is a crushing chore and a wonderful privilege. Only when we are at our most playful can divinity finally get serious with us. Make space for all these paradoxes to be equally true inside your soul, and I promise—you can make anything. So please calm down now and get back to work, okay? The treasures that are hidden inside you are hoping you will say yes.” 

The envy I felt was misplaced because I was envying a fantasy. The person who becomes a good painter does so through lots of practice, many failures and many frustrations and in reality, they’re probably not a whole lot happier with their lives than I am. If I want to become a great writer, I must keep working at it. And bam shazam! The envy dissolves and I feel free to be myself.

See how this works?

Who do you envy? Take a good look at what it is you believe they have. Now ask yourself three questions:

  1. Is what you’re imagining they have really true, and is it the whole story?
  2. Is that what you truly want?
  3. Is what they have in any way realistic or attainable for you, in your current reality?

Because on that last point, if you’re living a pretty regular life with a mortgage and kids and bills to pay then how productive is it to envy a famous celebrity? Let’s bring it closer to home. Who among your friends do you envy, and what specifically do they have that you want? Remember, have a good think about whether they really do have what you think they do. Sometimes the appearance of wealth is actually immense debt, great relationships aren’t such a fairy tale behind closed doors and self-confidence is a mask for debilitating anxiety.

Now I’m not suggesting that we want to poke holes in other people’s happiness or doubt their authenticity but do you see what I’m getting at? It’s easier to sigh and wish we had what someone else seems to have, than it is to take the real action required to go out and create our own great lives.

We must simply begin doing what we want to do and stop making excuses about why we can’t. Because believe me, when we get out of our own way with this stuff, the universe rushes in to help.

What do you want to create in order to step free of the envy trap?

One of my special powers is to help people uncover their gifts and to blast away the blocks to their self-confidence and their courage to pursue a more fulfilling existence. Contact me for your free 15 minute chat to discover if you’d like to work with me in a three session process. Click here

What if Being Sensitive was Our Biggest Gift?

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

I don’t know about you but I’m really sensitive. And not in the easily offended way, just in the, “your energy is really bugging me” kind of way. I feel a lot and I don’t always get to choose what I feel. Of course I’ve developed strategies over the years to avoid situations and people that cause me stress. Plus I’ve very mindfully created a lifestyle that’s fairly low key and where I look after myself very carefully.

Prior to having this keen awareness, I would get overwhelmed by life and want to hide away. Plus I was highly prone to viruses, muscle tension and allergies. So where’s the upside to being sensitive? It’s certainly hard to see the benefits when we see less sensitive types having more fun and being a lot more reckless, plus having people criticise us for being too sensitive and even boring isn’t fun. But there’s definitely a good side….

We’re the psychics, mystics, healers, artists, counsellors, philosophers, poets, inventors, musicians, yogis, dancers and writers. We’re the environmental activists, the human rights and animal rights campaigners and writers of letters to the editor. We feel more deeply, we see more fully and we care a lot. And sometimes, we actually make a positive difference in the world.

Butterfly cloud in the sky
To be sensitive is to see the pictures in the clouds

To be sensitive is to have empathy and genuine concern for the wellbeing of others and the planet. To be sensitive is to have compassion for those who’ve hurt us and for those who’ve wronged society. To be sensitive is to be able to forgive another for their misdeeds and to forgive ourselves for all the ways we feel we’ve failed. To be sensitive is to appreciate everything we see, such as a newborn baby, a puppy, a wildflower or a tree, with a sense of total and utter awe. To a sensitive person like me, the whole world is fascinating, miraculous and yes, sometimes horrific.

We really shouldn’t watch the news too often. We need to avoid scary and violent films and we need a decent amount of sleep. We benefit from a certain degree of creative stimulation from art, music, books, plays and films but we mustn’t overdo it. Meditation is key. That and plenty of time outdoors in nature. In silence. Of course moving our bodies is essential so activities like walking, swimming, yoga, dance and cycling are marvelous.

Either as children or young adults, many of us have been wounded by life, so we often seek out healing and counselling to help us to learn and grow. Many of us are drawn to career paths where we can help others and we’re usually very good at it. But again, we must carefully guard our energy, lest we overdo the helping and burn out.

It’s good to be sensitive as a parent and we make wonderful caregivers for children, as we adore them and can relate to their innate, less sullied sensitivity. It’s okay for children to be sensitive. It’s harder to be a sensitive adult. It’s not something to be proud of.

Sensitivity is the feminine and we all know what’s been happening to the feminine for too many centuries… And now that the feminine is rising once again, perhaps we can reclaim sensitivity as a super-power. All of the very sensitive children now on the planet need our support. Our planet needs our support.

Our sensitivity isn’t to be grown out of, hidden or crushed. It’s what brings beauty, feeling and appreciation to our lives and to the lives of others. So I say we band together and start highlighting the gifts us ‘sensitives’ are bringing to the planet. You with me?

 

Why do we get so hung up on status?

Posted in Live Your Passions

How much energy do we needlessly devote to building or recouping social status when actually, no one else really cares about what we do?

When my first child was born I suffered a bit of a fall. Not a literal fall, more a drop in how I regarded myself and in how I believed others saw me. It wasn’t a genuine fall from grace, an undoing or a failure. It was what many of us experience when we leave the workforce to be mothers. A loss of status.

I’d established myself in my career as a psychologist and I’d worked long and hard to get there. Next thing, I was folding endless washing, changing nappies and breastfeeding a babe day and night. Hubby toddled off to work early each morning and trudged through the door each night and all it felt I’d done all day was sit, coo, rock and wipe.

And here’s the thing. This is what I’d dreamed of doing for years. I’d always looked forward to having a baby and here I was, living the dream. Only, it wasn’t as fun as I’d thought it would be. Plus, once the first few weeks of celebration and plaudits were over, there wasn’t a lot of good job Trish or, you’re doing brilliantly as a new mum Trish, coming my way. It’s a bit thankless really.

And I want to make a distinction here. This isn’t about fulfillment and appreciation for what I had. No really. It’s simply about status. I missed my status as a professional woman and it did impact on my sense of self-worth. I began questioning whether I was doing a good enough job looking after our baby and I wondered if it was normal to feel a bit isolated and forgotten by society.

And then, not five years later, I threw the renewal form for my registration as a psychologist in Western Australia, in the bin. Quite a lot had changed. I’d taken myself down a new path by studying Touch for Health kinesiology and was launching my new career in the complimentary therapies. It felt very risky to walk away from my professional status as a psych but then, I’d survived five years of full-time ‘home duties’ and in that period, it’d become very clear to me that I was done with conforming to anyone else’s rules on how, when and with whom I should work.

It was actually very liberating. But this is when, by breaking free of one set of restrictions, I placed another yoke around my neck by seeking other ways to reclaim my social status. It was subtle because in truth, I’m fairly down to earth and humble but I definitely put pressure on myself to create a successful business, raise my children impeccably, have a lovely home and look fabulous doing it. It’s a little bit insidious isn’t it? Damn you Country Style Magazine!

Tricia in the trees

I’m ready to let it all go now. Call it maturity, call it middle-aged nonchalance, call it laziness, I don’t care, I simply don’t want to waste anymore energy on worrying about what anyone else thinks of me. Because what I know now is that nobody is thinking anything about me. They’re mostly thinking about themselves. We’re all mostly thinking about ourselves.

The social media world that I happily inhabit every day, is rife with people spruiking their businesses and personal brands in a one-way fashion and not interacting with anyone else. I certainly use these platforms to promote what I do but I also love commenting and applauding other people in their endeavours. That’s what makes it feel like a true community to me. Plus I learn things, enjoy a laugh and gape in wonder at what others share in images and words, every single day.

This status thing is purely and simply a mirage. No one is truly as they seem online or in the media and what a relief it is to be among the millions of little-known people on the planet just going about my day. I guess it’s true that the higher my profile, the more of a positive impact I can have but hey, I’m not going to make that the main game. Being sane, authentic and relaxed are far too important.

Are you ready to relinquish your need for status?

Drop me a comment below or if you’d like to work through some things in person then just click here, and give me a call.