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Tag: evolve

How to Evolve Without Making Yourself Wrong

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

You know you’re here to grow and change right?  But are you like me? Do you find it hard to evolve without feeling that everything that came before this new fresh moment has been wrong?

When we make those sudden leaps of growth and suddenly see how flawed our thinking has been, it’s very tempting to judge ourselves harshly.

We all go through times of rapid transition and evolution.

Sometimes it makes my head spin.

One minute we’re rolling down a road we set out on years ago, and then suddenly, we come to a screeching halt, look back, look forward and decide to take a left turn.

Then, not surprisingly we come over all self-critical. We sometimes question why we were ever on that dusty old road to begin with.  “What was I thinking?”, we say to ourselves.

Any first marriages spring to mind? Mine does

Then we spend energy and time pointlessly beating ourselves up over all the past decisions, plans, beliefs and dreams that failed to make us happy. It’s so easy to see how wrong we were. But where would we truly be without having taken that risk, forded that river, climbed that hill?

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My gorgeous risk taker.

Is looking back with regret really helping us to enjoy life? No, I feel it undermines the new life we are aiming to create and more…

My top five reasons why it’s so important to stop indulging in self-criticism when we evolve:

  1. It prevents us from acknowledging how far we’ve come and celebrating our successes
  2. It keeps us stuck in the past and unable to enjoy the present
  3. It deters us from continuing to improve our lives because we become fearful of making a mistake
  4. It stops us gleaning the gold from the tough times we’ve experienced and being able to forgive
  5. It reduces our capacity for self-love and self-compassion

Your marriage ended. So what? Your business failed. So what? You didn’t get your dream job? So what?…..You learned some cool things right? You certainly evolved.

Life’s not about being perfect, being right all the time or having 100% clear foresight.

The people who play it safe and stick with the decisions they made in their early twenties only because breaking out of that world feels way too risky, are the ones who end up unhappy later in life.

Those of us who run headlong into adventure, change, new experiences and new ideas on how to live are the ones who I see thriving and living more vibrant, engaged, fulfilling lives.  Mistakes and failures are all part of the ride.

So to wind this up, let’s look at the alternatives.  As I see it we have three choices:

  • Never change
  • Change and beat ourselves up about getting it wrong the first time around
  • Change and celebrate our freedom and flexibility to be adaptable.

Easy choice right?

If you’d like some help with your capacity to evolve and feel good about it then just contact me here for a session. (Click here). I’m available for bookings right through the festive season.

Much love, Tricia

A New Kind of Normal

Posted in Live From Intuition

How would a younger you feel about the way you live your life right now?  Is what’s ‘normal’ for you now the same as it was ten or fifteen years ago?

During a very enlightening astrology reading the other day, I was drawn back in time to when I was 31.

I remembered in a new way what I was like at this age and how different I am now…

At 31 my first child was born and my whole life changed…in a good way but also in a very unexpected and challenging way. You see the birth was nothing like I’d hoped it would be and it threw me the biggest curve ball in my life to date.

My two day labour ended with a C-section and although our beautiful baby son was perfectly healthy and seemed none the worse for wear, it was an intense experience for us both.

Three weeks after delivery still looking a bit shell-shocked.
Three weeks after delivery still looking a bit shell-shocked.

Who I was before his arrival, and who I was after, and indeed who I am now almost 14 years later, are vastly different.

What I thought was normal at 31 resembles nothing like what I feel is normal now…

When I was 31, normal felt like this:

  • Work hard and you will succeed
  • Deny your feelings, be sensible, be realistic
  • Set high standards and try to meet them every day
  • Don’t let anyone down, even if you are unhappy with the status quo
  • Maintain a persona that is compliant and non-threatening so people like you
  • Use your powerful mind to analyse, weigh up the pros and cons and make logical decisions
  • Adhere to society’s idea of success and focus lots of energy on financial security and ‘getting ahead’

And hey, in the grand scheme, my life was actually pretty darn good.  I was stressed, dissatisfied, longing for more meaning in my life and not particularly grateful for what I had, but yeah, I was an averagely happy 31 year old white Australian mother.

So you know, time went on, another beautiful child arrived into our family and I slowly began to wake up…

The road was pretty long and yes, it absolutely winds on into the distance to this day. But boy have I changed!

Now that I’m 45, this is my new normal:

  • My own health and happiness are my highest priorities
  • My personal standards have relaxed and I’m much more loving and forgiving to myself
  • I treat work as a gift and know I will succeed because I’m living my passions
  • I’m more comfortable to assert my point of view and not so scared that people will reject me
  • I listen to my inner voice, value my feelings and respond to their guidance every day
  • I live from intuition and although my mind is still a powerful force, it plays second fiddle to my heart.
  • I value friendship, family, love, creativity, freedom, service, nature and community much more highly than material wealth or career success

We all change, grow and evolve through our lives.  That’s a given.

How much?

Well, that’s our choice.  The sky’s the limit people.  There is no ceiling to how much happier, healthier, more free, more creative, more generous, more loving, more open-minded, more forgiving, more abundant… we can become.

It’s all about acceptance and gratitude.  Bless it all and you will find your bliss.

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Enjoy your day.  Much love, Tricia