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Seven Steps to Facing Fear and Getting on Your Path

Posted in Live Your Passions

We all let fear hold us back from time to time. 

If it was easy, everyone would be doing it right?

It’s true though.

The roles we’re here to fulfill are usually hard won.  And hey, if you’ve always found life easy (that includes nobody I know), then you’re probably bored with where you’re at and not on your true path. Yes?

Your true path is a job or creative vocation that challenges you, pushes you right to the edge of your comfort and then over it and makes you feel excited and energised when you imagine doing it.

So, do we play it safe and avoid the bigger game, or do we risk it all for love? You know. love for yourself and the entire planet – no big deal.

And let me tell you, this is quite a tough decision – because from what I’ve experienced and helped many clients with – life doesn’t really allow us to sit in fear as the lesser of two evils.

Oh no, if you’re thinking you can just keep it low key – cower to the fears and let them call the shots – then I’m sorry, I don’t think you’ll find it that simple.

Oh and by the way – If you’re over 40 and still not on your path, then pay close attention…

                    Fly free like a bird

Why?

Well because life will eventually find other ways to get you moving….

You may be criticised by family, rejected and abandoned by your friends or partner, bullied by workmates or made redundant from your job.

You may also feel untold discomfort in the form of envy, dissatisfaction, frustration, compulsive complaining, judgement of others and self-criticism.

Not to mention the de-railing of your health and peace of mind by the behaviours you adopted to avoid getting on your path such as addictions to alcohol, other drugs, food, shopping, television, social media…the list goes on.

Phew!  It all sounds exhausting right?

Well yes, because you’re not here to play it small and deny your gifts.

Once you get moving in the direction of your gifts and passions though, that’s where the magic happens and things slowly begin to fall into place. You get a sparkle back in your eye and a spring in your step.

Although I’m sorry to say, the nudges and prods won’t necessarily end there.  Once you begin the work of getting on your path, you’ll most likely experience a whole lot of resistance emerge from within you and sometimes from outside of you.

Don’t worry though, this is just your ego trying to protect you from changing too fast.  The ego believes we need to stay the same in order to stay safe.

Where I see many clients delay their progress is right here, when the first round of resistance shows up.  It’s very understandable.  Some very intense emotions can come to the surface and a big steaming pile of FEAR is at the front of the assault.

Sometimes we need a few run ups before we sail over the ditch between us and our brighter future. That’s okay, there’s no hurry.

Here’s what I suggest:

  1. Start something – read a book, do a short course, talk about your dreams and aspirations with someone you trust. Just make a small start.
  2. Notice the feelings as they emerge and allow yourself to feel them. Once felt, they naturally dissipate.
  3. Tell yourself it’s natural to experience anxiety or dread, or heart-stopping fear when you’re stretching out of your comfort zone.
  4. Find your tribe of people who love the stuff that you love and who speak your language, seek out local groups, Facebook groups, workshops and classes.
  5. Allow yourself to stumble, trip or completely fall. Failure is a wonderful way to build resilience and lighten everything up.
  6. Realise that even though it’s hard, it’s better to be living full out than hiding from your truth and walking through life at half-pace with a fake smile plastered on.
  7. Keep on going – this is a wonderful adventure, it’s not supposed to be straightforward, easy or fast. Keep following your heart to the activities that make you feel more YOU.

Book a session with me and I’ll help you get on track. Especially if you don’t even know what you want to do, one of my super-powers is career guidance. Just click here

Motherhood – How to Care Less

Posted in Heal Relationships, and Self-Care and Self-Healing

Today I visited my son’s new school (he’s starting high school next year), for the first time.  As I picked out his new T.shirts and shorts in the uniform shop I thought, with a little tear in my eye; “My little boy’s moving on, stepping into a new stage of life”.

It’s natural isn’t it for a mother to grieve, just a little, the passing of her children’s childhoods? Just how much we grieve I think depends on how much we’ve retained or re-created, as it was in my case, our own sense of self amid the mothering role.IMG_9324

Because, let’s face it, being a mother, much like being a daughter, wife, sister, friend, or aunt is a role you fulfill as part of your life.  It is not you with a capital Y.  You are a mother yes, but you are first and foremost a person, yes, an individual human being who existed before her little bundles of joy and believe it or not, will continue to sparkle and dazzle the universe with her brilliance long after the said bundles have flown the nest.

We feel happy/sad when we wean them, when they begin school, lose their first tooth, experience their first major disappointment and then recover, miss out on a party invite or don’t get much of a game when playing their first team sport.  Honestly, raising children can be exhausting and heart-breaking. It’s not for the faint-hearted.

I for one, took the ‘jump in feet-first, total immersion‘ approach to motherhood.  For five years that’s who and what I was, their mother.  Other roles like wife (my poor husband), daughter and sister took a definite back seat. When I came wandering, stumbling out of that period it felt like I’d returned from a long absence from my own life.  I felt a bit like a time-traveller cast randomly into a foreign land at an unknown point in time.  Well perhaps that’s a little dramatic, but not awfully so.

I was ‘mummy’ and that’s all I really identified with.

I’d lost who I used to be, and to be honest that wasn’t a bad thing because I hadn’t overly enjoyed being her.  I just wasn’t sure who, apart from ‘mummy’, I was now. I wasn’t even the qualified psychologist I’d embodied just three years prior.  Sure, I knew I had been her and could role-play that job again, it just didn’t feel like ‘me’ anymore.

So not being able to figure it out in my mind, I eventually followed my heart into some short courses in writing, art and natural therapies to flush out the real ‘me’.  I knew she had to be in there somewhere…

And it worked. It’s taken many years, around seven in fact, but I now understand who I am at a deeper level and have work and other activities in my daily life that support and express that real me.

So when I witness the growing up and growing away-ness in my children, I don’t feel too sad because I have this rich and varied life that’s quite separate from them.  I am ‘me’ independent of the mother role and it feels good.

To care is beautiful, to care too much is painful and stifling for those we love.  Love yourself a little more and you’ll find you care just the right amount for everyone else with ease.

If you would like some assistance to discover your true path in your work or creative endeavours, take a look at this page: Contact Tricia for Your First Session and let me know when I can phone you for your free fifteen minute session.

Much love, Tricia

 

Create The Vision, Take Action, Repeat…

Posted in Create Abundance, Live Your Passions, and Trust The Universe

Here’s where I share some really useful information about manifesting your desired outcomes.

It seems to me there’s this complicated and intricate dance happening all around us every day.  Things happens that seems to be out of our control and to have nothing whatsoever to do with us. We react to annoying circumstances, accidents, illness and other people being awful as if to say;

“Hey!  That’s not fair! I was just minding my own business, I don’t deserve this.”

What I’m here to say is, pay more attention and realise that although we’re not supposed to take any of this’ life on planet Earth’ stuff personally, most of what you observe in your life has significance and meaning for you right now.

Every moment we devote attention to by expressing our reaction, opinion or emotions has a little message for us.  What we label as good, bad, happy or sad, the universe just sees as energy.

One step at a time
One step at a time

What we learn from these moments about who we really are and what we are unconsciously creating in our lives is what helps us move forward and become conscious creators of our reality.  And again, this isn’t just your personal journey I’m talking about.

When you shift and raise your vibration, everyone benefits.

You, as part of the whole are important and yes, vital to the overall flow of humanity’s evolution.

Sorry if that came as a shock.

So how do you create what you really want when you’ve got a long and glorious history of struggling to live what you thought was a ‘normal’ and ‘productive’ life?

It all starts with having a vision and then taking a step forward in your life that aligns you with the vision.  So before you quit your job or leave your partner, or both, work out what you would love to be doing every day of your life.  Our dream work is usually something we would do for free, something  we feel passionate about and makes our heart sing.

And don’t worry if right now you don’t know, because sometimes not having a clue what this might be is more perfect than having a narrowly defined goal.  You see, I began this process myself eight years ago and I’m still working out what it is I really truly want to do.  Every day I get a little closer and I’ve had an amazing time along the way.

When you’re not sure and you simply try something you’ve always wondered about, universe gets to gently guide you to what’s perfect for where you’re at right now.

When I went and studied kinesiology, I had no idea if I could do it, would like it or could create a practice in this field.  All I knew was I’d received a lot of benefit from being a recipient of kinesiology and it was a therapy I was very interested in learning more about. This was my vision and the action I took was to attend my first weekend training class. My work with individuals has evolved immensely since that first class but I know it was my right first step.

So the big CLUE here is, pay attention to what you see, hear, feel, sense, and react to in your life right now.  When you notice a little internal buzz of excitement at something before your eyes or ears, tune into your inner wisdom and ask, “Is this for me?”

When we act from that uplifting sense of enthusiasm, curiosity, interest or wonder, we know we’re on the right track.

For some personal help with clarifying what you’d really love to be doing in your life, take a look at my Book a Session with Tricia page and contact me for a chat.