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Month: July 2015

Staying Together – Our Story So Far…

Posted in Heal Relationships

My husband and I have been together for a whopping twenty years this year and gosh it’s been a rich and varied ride.

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When I cast my mind back to us as naive and fresh-faced twenty-five year-olds moving into our rented two-bedroom unit with no money in the bank and one decent car between us, I see two kids in love and bursting to tackle life head-on together.

I won’t bore you with a detailed history of our whole twenty years.  Let’s just say there’s been lots of ups, plenty of downs but mostly regular, normal life just sort of chugging along.  No complaints though because our ‘normal’ would be considered paradise on steroids for many people living in other lands.

Fast forward to now and we’ve got so much to be grateful for:

A very cool and relaxed lifestyle by the ocean in a very nice holiday town, two gorgeous kids both on the verge of teenager-dom, healthy bodies, great friends and loving families, work we both enjoy and financial comfort.

But how’s our relationship?

Because you know all those external trappings of success don’t guarantee nothing in this crazy world of ours.

I’ve heard first-hand about countless women just like me with, to the casual observer, everything to be happy about but for whom life feels inwardly miserable or desperately tedious.

And I guess to be honest, I came close to meeting that description around ten years ago when our kids were little.  It never became extreme but I certainly reached a point where I felt dissatisfied with my life and my husband was apportioned a reasonable or should I say, ‘unreasonable’ amount of the blame.

When I look back now I see that we were both doing our best to fulfill the roles of parents to our young family and that this put a lot of pressure on our relationship:  Hubby worked long hours and though I loved motherhood I also missed my paid work for its mental stimulation and sense of achievement.  Before too long we’d drifted onto that favoured battle ground of many young parents.  It’s called – “Who’s doing it tougher.”

These days our relationship is good.  It’s good because it’s real and honest and mature. We love one another yes, we also enjoy one another’s company as friends and we support each other in pursuing our dreams and ambitions. We have wonderfully lively conversations together and he can still make me giggle.

And of course, we also have those times when things just don’t feel good, we’re tense around one another and everything is difficult.  That’s normal right?

It’s complex. I mean raising children, earning a quid, looking after one’s own health, building good friendships, spending quality time together (without the kids) and having a sex life. There’s a lot going on there and that doesn’t include planning holidays, making big career changes, moving to new places and buying and selling homes, all of which we’ve done in the last three years.

So anyway, our relationship has gotten to this point of maturity and longevity for many reasons, but I think one key element has been that I worked out (at around that ten year mark), that I needed to get over the idea that he or anyone else – including my children – was put on this earth to make me happy.

I took full responsibility for making myself happy by doing things I loved each day and by cultivating a deeper and stronger feeling of love and acceptance for myself.  It began with daily meditation and a weekly yoga class and was followed by lots and lots of journal writing, studies in kinesiology and flower essence therapy, some amazing self-help and spiritual books and some great healing sessions with some amazing women I met along the way.

My husband was of course right there by my side supporting me and I also had some wonderful friends and my Mum to talk things over with.  But really it’s been up to me to choose between the many pathways to travel and to make the clear and simple choice each day to love myself a little more and put myself first in my life.

Once I realised that I didn’t need to wait for anyone else’s approval, because it was already there dwelling within me, I began blossoming in so many new ways.

The story continues…

If you feel you could benefit from some extra support to embark on your new path of loving and accepting yourself more, I’m available for telephone and Skype sessions to help you along the way.  Just click here and then contact me for a chat.  Much love, Tricia

A New Moon Blessing – Guided Audio

Posted in Trust The Universe

Our words are very powerful.

We create our lives from our word-form thoughts, our written word and our spoken word.

When we utter a blessing for ourselves and others it holds great power and can influence our lives in magical ways.

At every new moon we are given extra support and encouragement from the universe to start again, set some fresh goals and create our very own new beginning.

The silver princess flower essence helps us with life purpose and direction.
The silver princess flower essence helps us with life purpose and direction.

This morning I woke up, sat up on my bed and meditated and then grabbed my journal and wrote out a new moon blessing in honour of this new moon day.

A New Moon Blessing

Dear universe of love and benevolence

Bless my body and bring me bountiful health

Bless my loved ones and bring me harmonious relationships

Bless my home and make it safe, welcoming and beautiful

Bless my work and bring me fulfillment and prosperity

Bless my creative endeavours and help them flow with ease and grace

Bless my daily travels and pave the path I tread with peaceful intentions

Bless all beings and help them see their divinity and perfection

May I be peaceful and joyful

May I be humble and filled with gratitude

May I be of service to others

May I emanate love in all I do

Bless us all dear universe at this new moon

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

And so it is

I wanted to share it with you in an audio format so here it is dear ones, have a listen. Enjoy this new moon time and every new moon into your sparkling future. Much love, Tricia

A New Moon Blessing – Guided Audio (Click to listen now)

 

 

 

 

 

How Are Your Adrenals? Four Tips For Slowing Down

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

We live in a pretty crazy world don’t we?

I mean honestly, what’s with all this rushing around, moving and shaking, getting the job done?

We’re not designed to live at the pace we have deigned (in the west at least) to be “normal modern life”. Anyone remember the “slow food revolution”?  What we really need is a ‘slow life’ revolution.

And I’m not sure if you’ve heard about the unhealthy imbalance this racing about can cause in our bodies, but it’s real, it’s widespread and the implications for how our bodies will function into older age and how that will impact our enjoyment of life are concerning.

So dear sisters, if you are in your thirties or forties and maintaining a life where you are often heard to say, “I’m so busy, I haven’t got time to scratch myself”, or something similar, then I’m guessing, you’re not devoting enough time to relaxing, sleeping well, or you know, just sitting down and doing nothing for a little while every day.

I’m a recovering ‘rush-around woman’ myself, so I know what this sort of life feels like. Even nowadays, in our more relaxed country lifestyle, I still occasionally get pulled back into that old pattern of “so much to do, so little time.”

Our bodies, minds and emotions need regular down time.  Daily rest is not a luxury, it’s a necessity for each and every one of us.

What’s happening is that by placing all this pressure on ourselves to:

  • Be productive
  • Do everything well
  • Be infallible and perfect
  • Be a support for others
  • Be approved of by others etc, etc…

…we are burning out our endocrine system, starting with our adrenal glands.

You’ve all heard about the fight or flight response? Yes? Well here’s a recap; you see we humans were designed to be in the stress-response state for around maybe thirty seconds per day. You know, walking through the jungle and, “Oh hell, there’s a leopard over there, RUN!”….(thirty seconds later)…”Phew. That was close, wow, my chest is pounding hard.”

May the animals be our teachers.
May the animals be our teachers.

These days, due to our modern lifestyle, we are placing ourselves in the fight or flight state on and off all day long and our adrenals, which secrete many essential hormones including cortisol which helps us recover after stress or crisis, are just plain over-worked.

Here are my top four suggestions for changing our ‘rush fast’ mindset to something more gentle and nurturing:

  1. Release the need to be approved of by others in every moment of every day.
  2. Redefine your idea of the word ‘selfish’ and realise that good self-care benefits everyone around you.
  3. Stop obsessing about what’s next and how long your ‘to do’ list is and just BE in the present moment – when we do this and then ask ourselves if everything is actually okay right now, the answer is usually ‘yes’.
  4. Remember to breathe and enjoy your life. There’s no point in putting yourself last for the twenty years or so it takes to raise children and then look back with regret and resentment AND have to live with the legacy of chronic ill-health caused by stress.

So take it easy this weekend, slow down, do less and take stock of how you might re-jig your weekly routine so you have more space, ease and even some help from the other people in your life.  Delegation is not a dirty word 🙂

Here’s what medical intuitive, Caroline Sutherland has to say on the matter: Adrenal Fatigue – The 21st Century Disease (click to read more).

I love helping people navigate these sorts of changes in their lives. I’m available for sessions on either a single session basis, or you can buy a three session package.  Read more here and phone me for a chat.

Much love to you all, Tricia