Skip to content

Month: May 2015

Finding it Hard to Meditate? Listen to This…

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

Many of you think you can’t meditate don’t you?  Tried it…too hard…not worth the trouble, right?

That monkey mind just won’t shut up. It’s a constant stream of unpleasant thoughts and feelings, memories and worries amid the shopping lists, reminder to self to phone Mum, and that awful realization you forgot a friend’s birthday last week.

I know, I feel your pain because this happens to me when I meditate too.  Yes, I’ve been a daily (well almost), meditator for oh about nine years now and I too get distracted by my mind.

So do you know what I did to help myself become better at meditating?  I started a women’s meditation circle and began channeling guided meditations for the group within a few months. Fun huh?

That was two years ago and the good news is that running a weekly session with other people has certainly improved the quality of my daily meditations and I love doing it. The not so good new though is some days I still don’t find it easy to settle the body and calm the mind and some (very occasional) days, I don’t make the time to do it at all.

Hey, I’m only human and life has a funny habit of shifting and changing beneath our feet, right?

So, short article today because I want you to take fifteen minutes for yourself right now and listen to this easy and simplified guided meditation I recorded today.

Allow me to gently guide you within your heart space and feel those beautiful glimpses, those soft little moments of stillness and peace.  I guarantee you’ll feel better for doing it.

Much love, Tricia

Thanks so  much for taking the time to listen to this little audio.  Feel free to listen again and share with your friends and if you’d like to meet with me in person or over the telephone for a coaching session, just take a look at this page and contact me for a conversation before you make your appointment.

Oh and if you’d like more free guided meditations like this one and you’re not a subscriber to my website yet then simply sign up in the box below and you’ll receive inspirational articles and more audios from me once a week. Thanks and enjoy your day.

Sorry, I’m a Recovering People Pleaser – The Five Signs

Posted in Live Your Passions

Ever get the feeling you’ve moved into a whole new territory in your life and it doesn’t feel all that comfortable?

It’s possibly been a while, maybe years even, but some time ago I realised just doing something because it would keep everyone else in my life happy, rather than doing it cos I wanted to was really not a great way to live.

Thing is though. It might sound more desirable to not care what others think and just be really focused on being true to ourselves and our own needs, but living it is not that simple, is it?

And you know I’m not talking about becoming a completely selfish and self-centred “b” word. I’m just saying it’s better in life to be clear about what works for us in terms of how we serve others and how we choose to spend our time. There is absolutely no value in running around doing for others and becoming just a teensy bit resentful in the process, if it’s not meeting our own needs in some way.

Okay, I’ll stop being vague and theoretical. Here’s an example:

Just the other day I received one of those sweet but slightly annoying Facebook chain messages (they used to come via email) from someone I genuinely like and admire. I appreciated the sentiments in the message and don’t doubt the sincerity of the person who sent it. But you know what? I can’t bring myself to pass these message on to the requisite number of people as instructed. Call me lazy, stubborn or mean, I just can’t do it.

IMG_1548

Okay, here’s a confession: I have never participated in an email recipe sharing chain. There, I’ve said it.

And even though this isn’t the first time I’ve faced this dilemma, I wrestled with the decision for quite some time before letting it go.

Why? I hear you ask.

Well it’s because I love being liked and I hate receiving disapproval, even if it’s only imagined disapproval and the actual person never even expresses it to me. I regularly make the assumption that people think I’m awful for not complying one hundred percent to their expectations.

Is it just me that does this?

So to everyone I know and love, I’ll say it right here…I’m sorry if I accidentally offend or upset you by not doing what you expect or desire me to do.

I’m sorry but I’m also not sorry because it’s about time people like me stopped storing resentment and guilt like hidden badges of honour because we go out of our way to make sure we are liked in favour of protecting our own happiness and health.

“To thine own self be true.” – William Shakespeare

No sure if you’re a people pleaser?  Here’s five signs you might need a re-think on how you handle requests from others:

  1. You find yourself saying yes to invitations and requests when your inner voice is screaming “NO!”
  2. Your life is too busy to make time for exercise, relaxation and fun.
  3. You find yourself feeling annoyed when people for ask you for help.
  4. You feel as though your efforts to help others aren’t really acknowledged or appreciated.
  5. You often spend time worrying about whether you’ve said or done the right thing after spending time with friends and family.

If you answered, ‘yep’, to four out of five of these signs, then I would say you’re a natural born people pleaser. Do not fear though, help is at hand.

Simply begin pausing before you say yes, tune into your inner self and make sure this is really what,you want to do. And secondly, release the fear of disapproval.  Your true friends and close family will still love you and they may even admire you more if you say no now and again.

Feel like talking it over with me in a coaching session?  Take a look here and contact me for a chat before you make your appointment.

Much love, Tricia

Be a Success Without Sacrificing Your Joy

Posted in Self-Care and Self-Healing

I’m feeling jubilant, relieved and successful right now and it’s all because I cleaned our bathrooms this afternoon. It’s been one of those strange weeks where I’ve been placing a lot of extra pressure on myself and finding the time to do those pesky household tasks has been tricky.

You see it all started last weekend when I headed up to the big smoke to attend a two day course on writing great quality media releases to get some free publicity in the mainstream media for my coaching business.

I’m a keen student because I love learning and I love demonstrating my new found knowledge and gaining recognition from my teachers.  Square huh?

Trouble is, in this grown up world, far, far away from the childhood classroom, it’s not so simple to take what we’ve learned, get ten out of ten on the pencil and paper test and declare ourselves a success.

Plus, as a result of the unique blend of nature and nurture in which I was raised, I received (or interpreted all by my lonesome), some pretty clear messages that led me to believe that anything worth doing must involve quite a lot of:

  • Striving
  • Struggle
  • Intelligence
  • Hard work
  • Luck
  • and, the biggie, Sacrifice

The good stuff I picked up though included persistence, focus, attention to detail, pride in a job well done and pleasure in seeing the final results.

This love and mastery of learning has carried me faithfully through two university degrees, a post-grad. diploma and countless short courses in subjects as diverse as flower essences, painting, creative writing and teaching.

What I noticed this week after completing my media release course was that while I felt pumped with confidence, enthusiasm and motivation to succeed, I also placed a lot of pressure on myself to get the results I desired, and fast, instantly if possible.

So now that it’s five days later and I’m yet to see my article published or even speak to a journalist, I’m actually feeling fine and a lot more relaxed about the pace of my progress because I’ve actually done okay amid a week full of the regular work, family and personal demands.

And I’ve clung with clear determination and focus to the self-care rituals I do daily to keep myself, happy, healthy and in balance.  I’ve walked, meditated, danced, had tea catch-ups with three girlfriends and gone to my weekly yoga class (hence, the bathrooms went to the bottom of the ‘to do’ list).

I just have to get outside and enjoy what's on my doorstep.
I just have to get outside and enjoy what’s on my doorstep.

Years ago, this wouldn’t have been the case. I would have been head down, tail up, working and pushing my way to success regardless of the cost to my relationships, sanity or well-being.  I most likely would have been terrible company for my family and may have ended up coming down with a cold.

And, here’s the reality check I’ve discovered that supports my new approach:

The old me wasted a lot of time responding to my busy mind and heading off down dead end routes instead of understanding that all happens for a reason and a season.  While we must make an effort and take action, the timing of our success is not really determined by our steadfast focus or our stress-laden need for it to be completed…NOW if possible.

Nope, not at all.  There’s more to it and we can harness the power of universal support and our own divine inspiration all the better when we’re in an attitude of co-creation rather than solo grunt.

I could tell you a whole heap more but that’s enough for now… If you would like some personal guidance and support with any of this stuff, please read more here and contact me for a chat.

Much love, Tricia

Shifting From Automatic To Aware – My Confession

Posted in Heal Relationships

I’ve eaten a lot of toasted tomato and cheese sandwiches in my time.  The old tomato and cheese toastie is my default lunch option.  When my mind is distracted with what I’ve just been doing or what I’m about to do, I automatically make this choice and that’s okay.  It’s not a bad lunch.

IMG_9694

But how many other parts of my life are falling into the category of living from default that I’m not even aware of?

Yesterday, after running my morning healing dance class, my friend Sarah and I had a very pleasant sun-bathed hot chocolate together (she had a coffee).  We love talking together about all things philosophical and spiritual and yesterday we got onto the topic of judgement and how we’d both like to live in far less judgement of those closest to us.

Isn’t it true that it’s easier to release feelings of judgement to complete strangers than it is towards our nearest and dearest?

And what’s even more ironic and adorable is that we can happily and sometimes with a tiny sprinkle of superiority, accuse others of being too judgemental, while viewing ourselves as completely judgement-free.

Here’s what I heard myself say while clutching my steaming mug against the cool breeze as it chilled the tip of my nose.

Confession part one: “I think I’m pretty good these days, I don’t really judge other people or criticise them.”

I’m surprised my nose didn’t grown a little in response to this blatant lie, because not ten minutes later, as Sarah dropped me back to my bicycle to ride home from the dance class venue, I found someone to judge. I spotted a mother driving out of the playgroup car park, presumably with one or two children in the back seat, holding her phone to her ear and talking and I couldn’t help myself. I said this:

Confession part two: “That’s right, talk on your phone while driving your car with your kids in the backseat”

I guess sarcasm has always come easily for me and making other people wrong as well. These are behavioural defaults for me and I don’t like them one little bit.

I’m letting myself off the hook though because at least I heard the laugh-out-loud hypocrisy of my action and I felt quite ashamed for a few moments.  Then I let it go with a chuckle because hey, I’m human and hey, it’s my nature to be a rule follower and a community policewoman in my own imagination.

What this little moment showed me though, is that these default thoughts, beliefs and behaviours really do run our lives unless we develop a greater awareness about them and formulate a new vision for how we’d like to function in our lives.

Moving from living in automatic mode to living in aware mode is really important to me and I would say it’s my connection with my intuitive self that has made this progression easier.  Being in contact with my inner knowing allows me to check in and be real with what I’m feeling, really hear what I say to others and hold myself accountable for my actions and words.

We don’t need to be overly harsh with ourselves though, that’s just turning the criticism and judgement within, which is no help at all.  We can be aware and still kind and gentle on ourselves and know that like a little child, we all respond better to loving guidance than brutal disapproval.

If you would like some personal help with this sort of stuff, take a look here and contact me for a chat.